I'm sorry that I left you all hanging. My mom left and I was kind of depressed (by kind of, I mean severely depressed...and still am), but I'm back to blogging and have tons of posts coming your way!
So where were we? Oh yes, I went from allergic reaction to emergency c-section in
Part I of Jaxon's Birth Story to then just monitoring me and sending me home, which ultimately resulted in me being in labor but not even knowing it in
Part II of Jaxon's Birth Story.
On to Part III.....
After telling Nick I was in labor and we were having a baby, the doctor came back in about an hour later. I wasn't dilated anymore so she said she was going to come back shortly to break my water. She left and Nick immediately said, "No. She doesn't need to break it. We can let this happen naturally." We were going to tell the doctor that we wanted to hold off on breaking my water. It would only speed up labor, and thus make my contractions more intense. At this rate, I was handling them just fine, with zero pain, and we wanted to keep the pain as minimal as possible. I was afraid if they sped it along and the contractions became too intense, I would ask for an epidural and that's just not the route I wanted to take.
When the doctor came back in, they were actually doing a shift change for the on-call doctor so I was introduced to the new doctor, who told me we were going to start pitocin instead of breaking my water. When the nurse returned with the bag of pitocin, we questioned her on why? The nurse was very adamant that we needed to speed labor along, but didn't give a reason why. This truly bothered us. Nick was 100% against the pitocin and I was on the fence. I am not against interventions, when necessary, but I have another post on the actual long thought process and discussion Nick and I had in regards to this. Ultimately, without giving you all the details, we let them start the pitocin. She said they increase it every 30 minutes so we said that after the first 30 minutes, if we wanted them to stop it, we would ask.
As we were discussing this, the nurses kept coming in and adjusting the monitors on my belly. Throughout the night, I wasn't sleeping as I was conscious of the monitors. I could see and hear them. During my contractions, I could hear my baby's heart rate slowing (dropping), but as the contraction subsided, it would slowly speed up. But now, I could tell that his heart rate was dropping and spending much longer periods of time in that slower range. However, no one was saying anything else to me, so I assumed he was okay.
After 30 minutes, the doctor and three nurses came into the room. The nurse had a very concerned look on her face as she told me that they were stopping the pitocin. The doctor then told me that they were having to stop the pitocin because the baby was not handling my contractions well at all. It was at this point that everything was finally laid out for us.
From the moment we arrived, the baby was not handling the contractions well. His heart rate would decelerate with most of the contractions. At first, it wasn't a huge concern (that is,
after the ER incident) because as soon as the contractions ended, his heart rate would climb back up. This was the time when they were just monitoring me and then again when we realized I was in labor. When I would get up and move around (which was really just going to the bathroom), it took much longer for his heart rate to climb back up and this had them concerned, especially because my oxygen levels were very low and thus he wasn't getting proper oxygen either. They hoped the shot would help stop the contractions, but it didn't. His decelerating heart rate was giving them ample indication that he needed to come out. Their hope was that pitocin would speed labor along so that we could get it him out sooner, but still allow me to have my vaginal birth. However, as labor progressed, things got worse. Once the pitocin was started, he heart rate was still decelling with every contraction, which was every 3.5 minutes, and it was taking far too long to climb back up. In fact, by the time it rose to an okay range, the next contraction would begin and his heart rate would drop again, much lower than it had been. The doctor said she couldn't, with good conscious, keep him in any longer. He was continually giving us signs that he needed to come out, now. She said she believed this has been happening for a few weeks now, but we didn't notice it since it didn't happen with every contraction in the beginning and I wasn't monitored for hours on end, until now.
The doctor also said she doesn't think the allergic reaction caused this. She believes it was just a blessing in disguise and two separate incidents, but that it was good it happened because it made us realize what was going on. They do think the allergic reaction (and my reaction to it) caused him to go into great distress and it just spiraled from there, but they firmly think he'd been giving signs long before (probably around 32-33 weeks) that he needed to come out and would be better off in the outside world. Which was a little scary to think about, but would also explain why I felt like for the past few weeks my belly was contracted more than it wasn't.
I then asked the OB how long before I went in for surgery, thinking it would be later that day and she said, "I'm about to go in for an urgent c-section now and I have another right after that one. I'm bumping you for that one. He needs to come out. So maybe 40 minutes from now."
Holy. Shit.
Then the nurse handed Nick his scrubs and explained how everything will go down. I was scared and excited. I couldn't believe this was happening but firmly believed and trusted the doctors that this was best.
It was during this short, private time Nick and I had that we finally decided on the baby's name, Jaxon Thomas. We hugged, we kissed, we stared at each other with wide eyes saying, "We're about to become parents. We're about to meet our son." And then we snapped our last photo as a little family of two,
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| (don't you just love the overly tired, puffy from fluids look I've got going on.) |
suited up, and were on our way.
Once we got to the OR, they made Nick wait outside while they got me 100% ready. I ended up getting a spinal, which means I was numb from my abdomen down, instead of an epidural where you can still move and feel your legs. I hated that they wouldn't let Nick come in. They wouldn't even let him watch through the window (he tried, but they made him sit and wait because the last thing they want to deal with is a husband who passes out from watching any of it). But I wanted him there to hold my hand and calm me down. I was scared. The last thing I wanted was a surgery. A c-section had never even crossed my mind until this incident. I was certain I was going to deliver vaginally, whether medicated or unmedicated.
Thankfully the staff was so kind. They talked to me in calm voices and as if we'd all been friends forever. They kept reassuring me that the baby and I would be okay and this was what was best. I know they could sense the fear and worry in my face, so I appreciated their kindness.
Once I was laying down, tent up, completely ready to go, they brought Nick in. They brought him in, he sat down right by my head, and no sooner than his butt touched the chair did they begin the surgery. I could feel some tugging and pulling, and the smell of burning flesh was disgusting, but after just 10 minutes, I heard my sweet son crying. And tears filled my eyes.
Nick got up and stepped right next to my bed where they had Jaxon. He took vidoes and photos as they cleaned him up and made sure he was okay. Thankfully he appeared okay!!! They then took asked Nick for his phone and let him cut the umbilical cord.
They then wrapped Jaxon up and brought him over to me. Again, they took Nick's phone and the nurse perfectly captured the moment that I laid eyes on my son. So many feels. I couldn't believe I was looking at my son. This little miracle that I had hoped and prayed for. This little miracle made from love. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
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| (Yes, I was THAT girl with a full face of makeup on during my delivery and I'm sure the staff thought I was a snooty, high maintenance chick, but in reality, I was just wearing some amazing makeup that was able with withstand my freaking out, crying, and 12 hours of wear. I promise, I did not touch up my makeup since before my maternity photo shoot!) |
They let him lay there with me for about 5 minutes before taking him to the nursery.
I don't really remember anything after Nick and Jaxon left until I was in recovery. I was only in recovery for about 5 minutes before Nick and Jaxon came in. They handed him to me and I immediately tried to breastfeed him. I was a little lost since our breastfeeding class was supposed to be that night but he latched on perfectly. I just sat there, in awe of this life I've created. For 9 months I wondered what he'd look like and what it would feel like to have him in my arms. And here he was
After about 15 minutes, they needed to take Jaxon back the nursery because they could see that he was having issues breathing. Thankfully, just after I was moved to my regular room, they brought Jaxon back in, where we were able to cuddle him and I was able to breastfeed him and enjoy some skin-to-skin with him.
Sadly, I didn't get very long with Jaxon before he was taken to the NICU for a few issues. It was heartbreaking to be away from him, but I was happy that Nick was able to be there with him.
....and here is where I leave you hanging again ;) Don't you just love me?
Next up, Jaxon's After Birth Story ;) Let's hope it doesn't take me over a week to get this next segment to you.
