How I Told My Husband I Was Pregnant

Now that Baby Obie is public knowledge, I can begin sharing things that have happened since then.

I've dreamed of being a mother for as long as I can remember.  I think most women tell you they think about becoming a mom one day, but it's something I'd spend hours and hours daydreaming about.  Maybe almost to an unhealthy level (and this is also something no one really knows, as I kept this obsession with being a mother to myself).  Maybe this obsession stemmed from the fact that I had an amazing upbringing.  My family is so close and my mother is my best friend.  She's honestly been the most amazing mother anyone could ask for, and I've always thought if I could be just HALF the mother she was and is, I would consider it a great success.  I always envisioned having children and having the same close bond my mother had with my siblings and myself.

After meeting Nick, and knowing he would be the father of my future children, I began envisioning our life together as parents.  One of the things I always thought about was how I would tell him the news of being pregnant.  Nick wanted to start a family long before I did.  I was the one wanting to wait a little bit longer to start trying and Nick was all about starting our family quickly.  Because he wanted a child so badly, and because I love to do things a little bigger than necessary and creative, I wanted to tell him in a very special way.

I thought about it for years.  (Yes, years).  And I never truly came up with an idea.  I just figured when the time came, I'd know what to do.  And that couldn't have been further from the truth.

On September 19, 2014, I decided to take a pregnancy test because the day before Nick had me questioning if I was pregnant.  So into the bathroom I went, and I pulled the last pregnancy test out of the box.  I peed on it, set it on the back of the toilet, stood up (after wiping obviously), pulled my pants up, and turned around to flush the toilet and that's when I saw it.  "PREGNANT".

I was shocked.  I didn't expect it to say pregnant, because I wasn't even supposed to start my period for another few days.  But this showed up right away.  I was pregnant.  Suddenly I was flooded with a million emotions.  My heart was racing.  I was sick to my stomach.  I was crying.  I was filled with immense joy, but at the same time, scared shitless.  This was real.

Just then, my phone rang.  It was Nick calling to tell me he was leaving base and heading home.  I knew I needed to tell him when he got home.  There was absolutely no way I could hide it from him.  Not only would I just want to blurt it out, but he'd sense that something was very off with me.  But I had NO idea what I was going to do.

A long while ago, I bought two onesies in anticipation of maybe using them to tell Nick we were pregnant.  I had also bought a "Expectant Father" book.  Lastly, I had a Cardinals t-shirt that said "Future Fan" on the belly.  I had no idea what to do, but I needed to figure it out asap because Nick was on the way home.

I was still racking my brain when Nick pulled up in the driveway.  I was so nervous but also so upset because I had always imagined I'd do something so special to tell him and here I was with NOTHING to do.

He walked in and we talked a little bit about our days.  I tried my hardest to act normal and I'm not sure if he could tell something was up.  I stood up and said, "I bought a new shirt and I want you to tell me what you think of it."  I went into the bedroom, changed into the Cardinals shirt, and wrapped the pregnancy test, two onesies, and book in a tissue paper then walked back into the living room.  I walked over to him sitting at the couch and said, "What do you think of my shirt."

He looked at it, then up at me with a confused face, and asked, "Are you pregnant?"  My eyes welled up with tears as I handed him the tissue paper wrapped gift.  He opened it and I said, "In nine months we'll know which one we'll be using."

Things after this are kind of blurred for me.  There was lots of hugging and kissing.  I know that the rest of the evening, we sat around talking about the future.  What our hopes and dreams are for Baby Obie.  How far along we thought I was (going off my last period, I was only three and a half weeks.  Which was confirmed at my first OB appointment at 5 weeks).  We talked about the traits and features we hope the baby gets from each of us.  We talked about our fears and apprehensions over raising a baby.  Sharing the news with Nick just made it so much more real for me, and from then on, this little precious miracle was on my mind every second of the day and consumed more than half of my conversations with Nicholas.

Looking back, I'm still disappointed I didn't pull off a super special announcement for Nick, but there was no way I could wait.  But that's how life happens.  Things happen unexpectedly and you have to just go with it and make the most of it.  I like to look at this as preparing me for motherhood.  Lord knows the planner in me is going to have many situations like this with my child; things will go far differently than I hoped and planned for.  But I'm confident that in the end, it won't matter because just like this day, we'll be filled with love and smiles.