Thanksgiving Trip at "Home"

I've posted a few blogs about specific events while at home but I figured I'd just write a quick post about an overview of our time at home.

In addition to the wedding, my appointment, with Dr. Adkins, Six Years Remission, My 28th Birthday,  and Thanksgiving, a lot of other fun things happened while we were at home!

• My cousin, Teeny, bought her very own condo.  I went over one evening and enjoyed some Imo's and Bud Light (two of my absolute favorite things ever and the BEST pizza on the planet), caught up on life, laughed a lot, and spent the night with her.

• My Uncle Gary and Aunt Anne are moving.  Anne grew up in the house they live and it's been their home as long as I've been around.  We've celebrated many holidays, birthday, graduations, random barbecues, and wine nights at their house.  It holds a lot of memories.  We all gathered at their house to enjoy more Imo's (yum), have a few drinks and say goodbye to Gail Court.

My cousins: Melissa and Teeny

My wonderful Grandmother!

Mom, Aunt Anne, and Aunt Janet

My brother =)

• As we always do, and my absolute favorite thing to do with my family, we gathered on another day for a Game Day.  Of course this included lots of delicious food, alcoholic beverages, and waaaaaayyyy too many laughs and inappropriateness.  We also had some second and third cousins we haven't seen in far too long stop by!!!  Games with my family was probably the highlight of my visit home.  Not to mention we played Telestrations and you can't not have fun with that game!  Especially when Grandma plays!!!

Just some of the drinks

cousins

Nicholas and Benjamin

• My brother came in town for the weekend after Thanksgiving (he was with Randy's family for Thanksgiving, but they'll be with us for Christmas.  Sadly, Randy had to work and wasn't able to come in).  When Ben is around it's the best time ever.  If you know me and follow my blog, then you know he's my best friend and one of my favorite people ever.  We hung out at the house and decorated the Christmas tree (the one that holds all our personal ornaments from St. Nick over the years)

 We went out to eat with Dad's old high school gang

mmmm...it's so good to be back in St. Louis for this reason!

And we sat around using our new found app on our phones.  It makes you sound like you're high on helium...or a Chipmunk.  Either way, it's HILARIOUS!  And I got some AWESOME videos of mom's typical reaction to my obnoxious, perverted, and inappropriate comments =)  But I am going refrain from putting those on here ;)

Dad and Sierra

So Nick decided he wanted a photo of him holding his dog...

And then Ben wanted a picture with one of his dogs lol

As always, it was a wonderful trip home.  So there you have it.  A quick overview!

Stocking Traditions Continue On...in Reverse

While I was home during the summer, I blogged about the stockings my Grandmother made all of us (her children, their spouses, and kids).   And how we decided to keep our stockings at home at Mom and Dad's.  But we still wanted them so we headed to Grandma's to make our own with her help.

My brother then came up with an awesome idea.  He suggested we make Grandma and Grandpa their own felt stockings.  We knew they'd absolutely love them, because they'd be so meaningful and heartfelt.  And obviously because it would bring up such amazing memories!

My brother is a fantastic artist so it took him no time at all to come with these designs for their stockings.

{I think Grandma's is so fitting because along with crafting with her when we were little, we also did LOTS of baking!}

Leah and I worked together on Grandma's stocking and Ben took care of Grandpa's.  We wanted to present them with the stockings well before Christmas so they could hang them up and actually enjoy them.
We decided to give them to them while we were home for Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately Leah wasn't able come home for Thanksgiving but she was a great sport about it.  She didn't mind that we gave them to our Grandparents without her, as long as she could be watching.  {Obviously she wished she could be here but understood it just wasn't possible.)

So during our family game day, we sat Grandpa and Grandma down and told them we had a gift for them.  Then we got Leah on FaceTime.  Mom made sure Leah could see while Ben and I presented the gifts to them.  (Sadly we didn't think to take a video or pictures and I so very much regret this.)

They LOVED them!!! Grandma even teared up a little.  They were so shocked that we did it and even more shocked that Ben made up the design 100% on his own.

I can't wait to go to their house over Christmas and see where they decided to hang them.  I will update with that photo after we get back from the Christmas holidays.

Thanksgiving 2012

Thanksgiving was....weird.  Good but weird.

It was small.  Very, very small.  No Nick.  No siblings.  No cousins.
It was just my Grandparents, my parents, one aunt and uncle, and me.  That's it.

My family is on a rotating schedule.  This year, they are all celebrating with their other side of the family.  (Next year, we'll all be together.)  Ben and Randy are with Randy's family.  Leah and Kyle stayed in Alabama and his family came down to celebrate with them.  Nick was with his family because their dinner conflicted with ours.

It was quiet.  And "appropriate" (as opposed to my family who is normally inappropriate).  Which made it very, very weird.

I decided to bring my dogs along since it would be a small and relaxing Thanksgiving.  BAD IDEA!  Yadi is crazy.   Not bad crazy.  Just energetic crazy.  But give her 5-10 minutes and she is calm the rest of the time we're with people.  It's just those first few minutes.

Oh, not on Thanksgiving!  She was an ass!  She lost the crazy excited energy, but she still had energy.  She refused to sit.  She refused to listen to me.  You'd think she didn't know what "stay" "leave it" or "down" meant.  She refused to NOT be in the kitchen, in the way of everyone cooking.  She refused to lay down while we were eating.  She was putting her snout on the table!!!  She NEVER does that!!!!!  She was just bad!!!  Yadi isn't a perfect dog but she's far from bad.  But you wouldn't have thought so on Thanksgiving!!!!  I wanted to beat her!!!!!  Thank goodness Vino is perfect otherwise I would have downed an entire bottle of wine.
Of course, after dinner, Yadi finally laid down.  When it was almost time to go.  Figures.

While the holiday was very odd, it was still good.  My Grandparents are not getting any younger and so it's always nice to spend as much time with them as possible.  It was obvious they were not their usual happy selves this holiday.  I don't know if it was the lack of family present or that my Aunt Dodie (whom passes recently) is still on their mind.  But they weren't as happy as they normally are.  Thank goodness the entire family will be together on Christmas Day.  Christmas is also a rotating schedule so this year, my family will be their other families on Christmas Eve and we get all Christmas Day together.  It's fair and less hectic and people aren't splitting the day.  Grandma is really excited and we're all staying into the evening, after the Christmas activiteis are had, to play games.  Grandma mentioned, (more than a few times) how she's really looking forward to Christmas and everyone being together again, and all the fun we'll have.  And I'm right there with her!
But none the less, I was happy I was able to spend this holiday with my Grandparents.  They are some of my favorite people in the world and they ARE my world.  While sitting at the table to pray and then eat, I couldn't help but be thankful that while my Grandparents are "old" (80+), they are alive and, for the most part, healthy.  That's what I was most thankful for this year.

I didn't really take many photos since it was just me as the only "kid" there.  I attempted photos with the dogs but getting BOTH of them to look at the same time is a hard task.  Or getting Vino to sit and not get antsy is a hard task (she always think she's in trouble and wants to go hide when we're yelling "watch me" and "stay" and "sit" at her lol).

Grandma and Vino

Yadi and Mom

My 28th Birthday

Welp, I'm now 28 years old.

I was lucky enough to be home to celebrate with those that love me most (minus Nicholas who had to go back to Florida for a few days to work.)  Yesterday I went shopping with Grandma and this afternoon Mom and I went shopping.  I was able to score some pretty awesome deals on three pairs of flat boots (all the boots I have have heels), some sweaters, and some sweater dresses.  It was a successful day!  We also stopped by Dad's work to open my other gifts from them.  Mom got me two HUGE bottles of my favorite wine.  It's a Missouri wine which means I can't find it anywhere but around home.  It's St. James Winery and it's a sweet red called Velvet Red.  I have tried sooooo many sweet reds since moving away from home but nothing even comes close to this!

After shopping with Mom today, Yadi decided to give me her own birthday present.  When we got home, I let the girls out of their crates and took them outside to potty.  Yadi doesn't need to be a on leash because she doesn't stray far from me at all (never more than 10 yards, if that).  Vino, on the other hand, loves to explore too much, so she needs to be on a leash.  Mom had Sierra on a leash and we were walking around to the back of the house with the girls.  My parents house backs up to the woods and I was standing on the edge of the woods with Vino as Yadi went about 10 yards in.  All of a sudden, I see Yadi drop and begin rolling.  I immediately called her name knowing that dogs (although neither of mine have done this) like to roll on things that stink.  She jumps up and comes running towards us.  She's about 5 yards and we smell it and see her.  She is COVERED, I mean, entire right side of her head, in her ear, down her neck, a little on her side, in SHIT!  Horrible, horrible smelling, what we assume, is deer shit!!!  She's running up to us, all happy and excited.  I gave Vino to my mom and marched Yadi's butt in the house.  I'm still wearing my nice jeans and sweater from shopping (ones that I wanted to wear out again tonight for my birthday) so I tell her to "sit" and "stay".  She does as she's told.  As she's sitting in front of me, I start taking off my boots and jeans.  Then she starts to wipe at her face with her paw, thus rubbing deer crap all over her lower legs and paws!  I tell her to "leave it" and she listens, stares at me as if she's in trouble (which she is, but normally she doesn't ever care if she's in trouble.)  Then I take off my sweater.  Once I pull it over my head, I look down and Yadi is on the ground rubbing her face against the carpet!!!!!!!  OMG!  My reaction was to reach down and grab her to yank her up....thus getting shit all over my hand.  I drag her butt to the bathroom and she's fighting me.  I shut the door and go to find my mom, who is on the phone with my sister, still outside, laughing at my expense.  I asked her to come in and help me.  She comes in and gets me the dog shampoo and some gloves.  I can't really lift Yadi into the bathtub very easily because she's 90 pounds and hard core fighting me.  In my attempt to get her in there, I get her poop covered face all over my t-shirt.  She was finally in the bath and then it was easy.  Once she's in there, she's pretty good.  I managed to get all the poop off her.
Talk about a horrible birthday present!  Of course my husband thought it was oh so hilarious.  I was less than amused.  From then on, Yadi was not allowed around the back of the house.

Later that evening, we went out to eat with my mother, aunts, uncle, three cousins, and 4 of my friends.  Jessie bought me this awesome mask while she was in New Orleans a few weeks ago (need to incorporate this into my next Halloween costume) and the best gift ever....a $50 giftcard to Hobby Lobby!  That girl knows me too well =)  (As she should.  We lived together for 5 years!!)

At dinner they brought me a delicious dessert which I shared with my entire table because I was way too stuffed from dinner.

After dinner I said goodbye to my aunts, uncle, and two of my cousins.  Then my mom, cousin, friends and I headed next door to Bar Louie where we enjoyed some drinks and hanging out...until I puked in the bathroom and needed to go home.  (Puking was NOT from being drunk.  I had one beer with dinner and one beer at the bar.  I just hadn't been feeling well that whole day.)

Mom and Me

Julie, Jessie, me and Teeny.  Wish we would have taken a picture with Kelli and Susi before they left.

The day started out great, had a major bump with Yadi, then got much better when I was with my family and friends, and then ended horribly with being sick =(

Was it the most exciting birthday?  No, but I was happy to be home and loved being able to celebrate with my family and my bestest of friends.  You really can't get much better than that.  Plus, it's not like 28 is anything to be really excited about lol.

6 Years Remission

Today marks 6 years of remission for me.  {Some call it a Life-aversary, meaning they were given their second chance at life because it really does change you and your outlook on life.  Others call it a Remission-versary or just Remission Anniversary.  I'm sure there are other names.  I usually just stick with Remission Anniversary.}

Six years ago today, I received my first clear scan.  It's the moment I knew I was truly "cancer-free".
Some people count their remission from the date the tumor was removed.  For me, the date my tumor was removed did not mean good news.  It was an awful day.  It was day we went from what we thought was a benign tumor, to a very bad, malignant tumor.  The day our lives flipped upside down.  The first day of the most grueling and horrible year of my life.  It was then that we learned my tumor had tested highest grade, meaning the cells were dividing at a very rapid rate.  This led my doctors to believe that the cancer cells had already entered my blood stream.  They feared they were floating throughout my body, just looking for a place to attach and begin growing again.  Because there was a strong chance I had cancer cells in my blood stream, I do not count that as remission or "cancer free".
Other count their remission starting on the date of their last treatment.  Again, I didn't feel safe doing this.  There are plenty of cases where the treatment doesn't work and the cancer is not completely gone from the body.  I felt if I told myself I was "cancer free", I might be jinxing my body.
Therefore, I waited until a little over a month after my last chemotherapy treatment to start saying I was in remission.  And that was November 20, 2006.  That's the day I KNEW I was "cancer free".

Why do I keep putting "..." around the words "cancer free".  Well, honestly, because no doctor will ever call you cancer free.  They can never know that.  They will  never know if a teeny tiny cancer cell is in your body somewhere.  Instead, doctors will say NED, "No Evidence of Disease."  This covers their butt but also makes you realize that's all we can really say.  All doctors can tell you is that with the testing done to you (scans, x-rays, blood work, etc) all of it shows that there is no evidence of cancer in your body.  All tests came back negative and margins were clean.

Some people ask me if I'm "cured".  With some cancers, once you reach a certain number of years with no recurrence, doctors will considered you cured. Unfortunately for me, my cancer is too rare and aggressive that they will never consider me "cured".  I will always just be in remission.  Either way, as long as I have no signs of cancer, I'm okay!  Call it whatever the heck you want to call it, I'm "cancer free" in my eyes!!!  I just don't focus on all the negative associated with my cancer such as the "oh you will never be cured!"  I don't care if I'm never "cured" as long as it never comes back!

To some, it might seem silly that I still want to "celebrate" this anniversary.  But to those people, they truly don't understand my cancer and all I went through.  My cancer is very rare and it's severe.  The odds most definitely weren't in my favor.  On my third year in remission, a doctor even admitted they didn't expect to see me sitting there, having beat the odds.  (Comforting, right?)
To me, this is worth celebrating!  I mean, we celebrate birthdays and I didn't do a damn thing on that day. (Mothers should be celebrated...they're the ones going through the hard work!)  So if I can celebrate my birthday where I didn't do anything, then I sure as hell can celebrate a day that I worked very hard for.  I went through hell and back, emotionally and most definitely physically, so I think I deserve to celebrate!  It's a day where I reflect where I was, what I went through.  And when I reflect on that, I KNOW this day is worth celebrating.  Every single year.
There are far too many people whom I sure wish their lived ones were here to celebrate these days.  They weren't fortunate enough to win their battle and celebrate their life each year.  I am fortunate to have a story of triumph.  And I will celebrate.

It's been six years since my first clear scan.  And about six and a half years since my hell.  I still have very strong emotions when those memories come flooding back.  {When I allow those memories to fully come back.}
There's no rule book for this.  I don't know how I'm supposed to feel now.
Closure?  No, not really.
Relief?  Sure, for the most part.  (Until I'm sick, in pain, or have a scan or doctor appointment coming up.)
Gratitude?  Most certainly!
Appreciation?  Absolutely.  I wouldn't be here without my family, friends, doctors, and nurses.
Blessed?  More than I could express.

So here's to today!  A mix of good and bad emotions, but mainly good ones!  Here's to a day worth celebrating!!!!  Here's to the past 6 years, while not easy, they were and are "cancer free".  Here's to a lifetime more of years to celebrate!!!

Mike & Alex's Wedding {Weekend}

We had a wonderful weekend celebrating Mike and Alex's wedding.

For those that do not know, Mike is Nick's cousin.  But he's much more than that.  He's one of Nick's best friends; he's Nick's "brother."  With Nick being an only child, he's always seen Mike as a brother because they spent so much time together when they were younger and while growing up.  Which is why Nicholas chose Mike to be the best man in our wedding.

Nick was also given the honor of being the best man in Mike's wedding.  So after much back and forth on Nick's leave days and when we'd be in town, we headed to St. Louis on Thursday, November 15th around 1pm.  We got in to St. Louis just before 1am, inevitably woking my parents up, spending about an hour with them, then went to sleep.

On Friday we headed downtown to NEO, the reception site, to help set up.  It was basically a giant room with windows the length of three walls of brick, and all the industrial touches to the ceiling showing.  Very unique.  And when all the chairs, tables, linens, decor, centerpieces, etc were brought in...WOW!  The plain and empty room look AMAZING!!!  It was gorgeous!  I was excited to see what it would look like the night of the wedding, with it pitch black outside, the lights, candles, and lanterns all lit up.  (And I was right...the reception was so beautiful the next evening!)

After setting up and decorating, we went back to Mike's and hung out then all headed to the church for the rehearsal.  Megan had "stolen" Mike's DSLR camera (Megan is Mike's sister) and asked me to take a bunch of photos.  Don't have to ask me twice!  I loooooove taking photos, and hundreds at that.  Not to mention I'm RIDICULOUSLY envious of anyone with a DSLR (I'm wishing there is a DSLR Fairy who is going to drop a Rebel T4i under my Christmas tree) so taking tons of photos was super fun for me!  But because of using his camera, I don't have photos to share with you from this =(  (We're planning to steal Mike's photos while we're home over Christmas).

Then we all headed to Bogey Hills Country Club for a delicious dinner and some mingling.  I did mangage to get TWO whole photos there!  lol...and they're both crappy quality.  Stupid iPhone 4S, I thought you were supposed to be a "decent" camera?!

Afterwards, Nick and I parted ways.  He went back to Mike's house to stay with him and I went back to my parents house to sleep with my puppies =)

The next afternoon, Mom, Dad, and I all headed to the church for the ceremony.  Again, I was put in charge of photos with Mike's camera so I don't really have any photos to share other than a few random iPhone photos (again, will be stealing Mike's over Christmas).

I must say, Nick looked so handsome!  This was the first time I had ever seen him in a tuxedo.  He has worn a nice suit numerous times before, but with all the weddings he's been in, he was always in his uniform.  It was a very nice change =)

The ceremony was beautiful.  Poor Mike was so nervous but the moment Alex came walking down the aisle, you could see his nerves vanish.  That's what a marriage should be.  Completion of one another.  Calming each other.  Making each other feel comfortable.  It's obvious Alex does that for him.  Not to mention, I've never seen Mike smile so freaking big as he did when she joined hands with him at the alter.  It was just a lovely ceremony and it was so great to be able to witness Mike marrying the love of his life.  And thank goodness he found Alex!  From day one, we've loved her.  She's great for Mike, but as an individual, she's also a really great person.  Mike definitely got lucky!  I just wish we were living in St. Louis and could hang out with a lot more.

Nick and the Maid of Honor, Stephanie, Alex's sister

The Green's:  Megan, Uncle Scott, Alex, Mike, and Aunt Debbie

After the ceremony, the wedding party plus their dates all hopped on the party bus.  We headed to Forest Park and they took photos at the Grand Basin and then at the Muny.

Then it was off to the reception where we enjoyed a fabulous dinner, delicious cake and dessert bar, and lots of fun dancing.  [And I've learned that Nick's problem with dancing isn't that he doesn't have rhythm.  It's simply that he can't remember steps and counts.  I tried to teach him The Wobble at the reception.  Oh boy.  God love him but he just couldn't remember the very simple repetitive steps lol

First Dance

First Dance

My wonderful parents 

My Mom and Nicholas (this picture makes me smile so big!)

with my Dad

The next day, we woke up, left the hotel, and headed to my parents house.  Nick was flying back to Florida that evening (he had to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday then would be flying back to Florida for Thanksgiving) and he just couldn't not see his dogs!!!  (sensing my sarcasm).  Poor guy hadn't seen them since Friday and if we didn't go back there, he wouldn't see them again until Thursday!  *gasp*  (How this kid thinks he can survive a deployment away from his dogs when he gets depressed after 6 days, I'll never know.)  After Nick got enough cuddles in with pups, we headed back up...over...whatever (our families live about 45 minutes apart) for lunch.
Mike and Alex invited their close friends and family back to Mike's parents house for lunch and to watch the couple open their gifts.  And to just hang out a little more before some had to head back out of town.  It was really nice to see all of Nick's family and have it be RELAXED and fun.  Obviously the wedding is fun but it was far from relaxing for everyone.  Weddings, while amazing things, are one big ball of stress!!  But always so worth it ;)

Then sadly the wedding weekend had to come to an end =(  We had to leave so I could get Nick off to the airport in time for his flight.  Thankfully this goodbye wasn't hard at all.  I would seeing him again in a few days when he returned on Thanksgiving Day =)  When you go 3+ months without seeing each other for four and a half years, a few days or even a few weeks are no big deal!

Green's....thank you for yet again another wonderful weekend with you.  We cannot thank you enough for all the love and support you offer us.  I am so incredibly lucky to be able to call you all family =)

Mike and Alex...congratulations!!!  We couldn't imagine a better couple.  We are so happy this day has finally arrived and that we were able to be in town to witness your marriage and to help you celebrate.  It was a gorgeous wedding and I can't wait to see your professional photos!  Alex you were stunning and I'm sure you already know you're marrying into a wonderful family!!  Here's to a lifetime of happiness and love!  We love you both!