The Esophagus Saga: All Good Things Must Come to an End

I bet you read that title and because it’s Monday, think this is a weekend recap, but you’re mistaken.  I know, you’re upset over it.  I know you all just love weekend recaps.  But dry your eyes, that will be coming tomorrow.

If you're reading this blog, then you know me, which means you probably know that I’ve had some major issues eating.

Every summer, I travel home to have an upper endoscopy performed.  During the endoscopy, they take a balloon down my esophagus and stretch me out.  Due to radiation and surgery, I have scar tissue and some structuring in my esophagus, which can make eating a very difficult task.  Food gets stuck multiple times a meal and at least three times a day I will visit the restroom to manually (gag myself) dislodge it. 

Currently, I only receive the endoscopy once a year but can do it as often as I see necessary.  Following the endoscopy, I can usually go a few weeks without food getting stuck.  Something about the surgery resets some of the nerves and my esophagus will function properly.  I’m usually good for about 17 days.  That is my record.  After 17 days, I’m back to food getting stuck, although for about 3 months, it’s only once a week.  Then months 3-6 post-surgery it’s about two or three times a week.  Month six is when it picks up and becomes more frequent at about  five days a week.  Month nine begins the grueling period where I have to wait until month 12 to get the surgery and I’m dislodging food at almost every meal.

In July, I went home for my annual upper endoscopy.  If you read my previous post, then you know that I was in a lot of pain.  Much more than usual.  It was downright awful and it took me so much longer than normal to bounce back. 

But I was beginning to think we had turned a new leaf;  that this past surgery was my miracle surgery.  I was going on 29 days of not having to dislodge food.  It would still get stuck, but only for a few seconds and then it would begin moving down. 

It was the first time in 8 years that I had a glimpse of my old life.  By now, I had completely forgotten what it felt like to just eat.  To eat without worrying about food getting stuck.  To be able to actively listen and concentrate on the conversations around me while I ate.  To eat without having to concentrate hard on chewing and swallowing.  To eat without having to leave the table and come back to cold food.  To go out to eat with my husband or friends and not get anxiety when the food arrived at the table.  To go to a restaurant and not have to make sure I’m on an end seat.  To eat in my car without having my puke bags easily accessible. 

I mentioned to Nick that it had been 29 days.  He gave me a high-five and a giant hug.  He understands this was a huge milestone.  I was so happy.  I was certain my days of dislodging food had come to a close. 

Finally, for once, something relating to my body was going my way!  I text a few others over my excitement, while also knocking on some wood.  (because, hello!  Superstitions).

Wednesday, September 10^th.  I was sitting on my couch, eating dinner late one night, enjoying a delicious crockpot buffalo pulled chicken sandwich when all of sudden, my food got stuck.  I sat there, waiting for it to move as everything had done the past 41 days.  Except this time, it didn’t move.  After six minutes of discomfort, with tears forming in my eyes, I headed to the bathroom and dislodged my dinner. 

I sat on the floor, next to the toilet, and just began bawling. 

I was so hopeful that these days were behind me.  I honestly thought making it to 41 days, my eating issues was a thing of the past.  My old record was 17 days.  Surely making it to 41 meant my esophagus had finally fixed itself. 

I was wrong.  So incredibly wrong.  I cried.  For a quite a while.  I felt, and still feel, so defeated.   I am so tired of my body working against me.  I am frustrated with the toilet being a routine part of every meal. 

I am frustrated to not have control over my own body.  There is no worse feeling than that of helplessness.   Every day I sit and hope that one day, the nerves will just “click” and things will be normal again.  I hope and pray that they can develop a surgery that won’t be as invasive as my only surgical option right now (one I am not willing to put myself through.) 

I sat there thinking ‘Why me?  God, why can’t just one thing go well for me in regards to my body and my health??  Why do I have to endure this?!”  Deep down, I know he's not the cause of this.  I know he's not doing it to be spiteful.  But when I have questions, especially those without answers, I direct them at The Big Guy.  I just want him to help me out!

I sat there.  And cried.  Hard.  For a long time.  Longing for a life with no physical discomfort from cancer.  Longing for my pre-cancer life and body. 

Which is futile.  These tears were not going to make my situation better.  But dammit, it was the release I needed!!!  I finished crying, stood up, wiped my face, and exited the bathroom.

Ready to take on this life of discomfort I’ve grown so accustomed to.  I tried to remind myself that I’m lucky I’m alive.  Sure, cancer gave me complications but in the end, I won out.  I’m still here.  I was stronger than cancer.  I really try to remember that in my difficult times.  It’s challenging.  When my head is in a toilet, I cannot get the food to dislodge, and tears are welling up in my eyes, it’s hard for me to think “Be happy you’re still here.”  Because in that moment, all I feel is frustration, disappointment, and sadness. But now, days later, I can count my blessings.  I can see that these complications, not just those from eating, are worth it in exchange for life.  

As they say, all good things must come to an end.  41 days.  That’s my new record. I’m still pretty upset over it, but I’ve only had to visit the restroom once more since that time so we’re still on the track of it happening infrequently post-surgery.  But honestly?  One time is one time too many.  

Survivors: A Unique Community

Sunday was National Cancer Survivors Day and quite a few people text me, tagged me in Facebook or Instagram posts and it just made my heart all warm and fuzzy.  I'm proud to be a survivor and proud to know so many others.  This community isn't necessarily one you want to be a part of, but there's also nothing else like it.

VIA

Survivor =  anyone who has ever heard the words "You have cancer", regardless of their condition, prognosis, progress in treatment, currently with disease or in remission.  

I've made some amazing friendships through my cancer battle.  I've connected with some of the strongest people I've ever met.  They helped me through my dark times and they're still there when I'm experiencing scanxiety and most recently in my relapse scares.  I would not be here without their guidance and {virtual} shoulder to lean on.  They validated my feelings, made me feel as normal as possible, gave me hope, and inspired me.  I could never thank them enough for all they've done and continue to do.

They are the reason I now reach out to others.  It's a simple thing society calls "paying it forward".  I take my experiences and use them to help others.  I do what others did for me.  I tell them about my story and what to expect with chemo, radiation, scans.  We talk about all the fears, emotions, ailments, etc. that come along with cancer and it's treatments.  We talk about caregiver support.  We talk about those that left our lives because it got too tough or those are that just being nosy.  We share in each other joys and struggles.  Nothing warms my heart more than to get those texts that say "You inspire me"  or "I was having a rough day, but remembered what you said and how hard you fought.  I was able to turn my day around.  Thank you." or "I woke up and just started crying.  At first, I yelled at myself but I remembered our conversation. I cried for a while, dried my tears, then started my day.  Thank you."  {I've asked these people if I could quote them, without revealing their identity and got the okay from them.}

I might not do a lot right in my life.  I'm far from perfect, but I know I do right by helping others.  Texting a survivor at 2am because she's scared and in pain.  Spending an entire afternoon on the phone to talk to someone who just feels like it's too much.  Spending my day fighting cancer at my job and spending my evenings writing blog posts for other foundations and organizations, texting and emailing with other young adults just needing an ear, etc.  I dedicate my life to helping those, and their families, battling cancer.  And I love every minute of it.  There are difficult times, like when someone you have been close with relapses, or worse, you learn they lost their battle.  It breaks my heart to hear some of them say "I want to give up."  I understand, because I've been there and uttered those same words.  It's normal, but it still breaks my heart.

I love my space here on the internet.  My little place in blogland to write about whatever I want.  A lot of it is about cancer.  I've been on both sides as a patient and as a caregiver.  Both are very difficult roles.  I try to take every experience, the good and bad, and turn it into a blog post.  Whether that be by my advice or just documenting my thoughts and experience so others can relate.  If at the end of each post, just one person says "Thank you", that's all I need.  I know that I'm doing good and I'm proud of the role I've taken on to help others.  It can be a huge burden and weighs heavy on my heart some days, but I truly love what I do...at my paid job but also in my free time.

I have been working on my cancer blog for a while, trying to revamp it.  I removed a lot of my blog posts from 2006 when I was battling cancer.  Some, a lot, are very dark and raw.  I removed them because I was embarrassed I felt that way.  I removed them because they are difficult to read.  But those are the posts I needed in my bad days.  They validated my feelings and I knew I wasn't alone.  I'm working to get them posted again but it's a slow process.  I'm also working to update each link, add photos, and proof-read my current posts.
While I do write here, the cancer blog is solely dedicated to my cancer journey and everything that could possibly relate. I am redoing the blog design, as well as updating all the pages with my (detailed) story, side effects, etc.  I am no expert, but I can offer what advice I have and what has worked for me or others I know.

Here are some of the posts you can expect to see in the future, on this blog but also on my cancer blog (it will be a slow process so be patient).  For those not interested in these posts, don't worry, this won't become a cancer-focused blog.  I will not post cancer/medical related things more than once a week, if that.
+  A Day In the Life of a Chemo Patient
+  A Day In The Life of a Radiation Patient
     (Before I began both radiation and chemo, I wanted to know exactly what to expect.  How did the process go down?  What were my side effects?  How did I feel?  Did it hurt?   Could you feel anything? etc).

+  What To Bring To Treatment

+  What To Say and Do For Someone Battling Cancer  (I am constantly emailed by people asking what they can say or do to helped a loved one who is battling cancer or undergoing treatment)

+  Life After Cancer

+  The Importance of a Caregiver

+  My Biggest Cancer Kicking Advice

+  Gifts To Give Chemo Patients  (another question I am asked a lot is, 'I want to get them something but I have no idea because I haven't been in their position'.)

+  Things Cancer Taught Me

+  Ways to Support a Cancer Survivor

+  Survivors Guilt

+  Your New Normal

+  What's the Difference Between Radiation and Chemotherapy


There are many more in the works in addition to these and I'm really looking forward to getting it all out there and helping even more people.

To all of my fellow survivors, Happy {Belated} National Cancer Survivor's Day!!!  You are all so inspirational and I am happy to call you my friends :)

Do you have any ideas for topics?  Any questions you've ever wanted answered by a cancer survivor?  Do you know someone battling cancer and have a question?  Please feel free to comment with any topic ideas you have or anything you'd like clarification or more details about and I'd happy to do so.  If you're not comfortable leaving a public comment, please feel free to email me by using the email address located at the top of my "About Me" page.  

Cancer Pride and a "Passion For Life" {MIZZOU Magazine feature}

If you've been following my blog long enough or know me in real life, then you know I love to share my story about my journey with cancer.  I chronicle my struggles, in detail, in the hopes of touching someone else.  When I went through everything, I had no one to talk to; no one that could relate to me.  It's not often that a 21 year old gets cancer.  Since writing my stories here, I've connected with so many other individuals that have found comfort in knowing they aren't alone.  I've even connected with others who don't have cancer, but another disease or illness that has similar characteristics or provokes the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  It's a unique community.  It's my way of taking something awful, finding the positives, and moving forward.  This community, a community of cancer patients and survivors, is something I sometimes hate having to be a part of, but at the same time, I'm proud to be a member.

When I was approached about doing an interview about my cancer journey and my job, I was more than willing to do so; because of how proud I am.  I'm not one who is high on the self-esteem charts, but when it comes to my battle with cancer, how I've handled it, and moved forward, I am damn proud.

I also wanted to say yes because I am proud to be a cancer survivor, but in addition to that I wanted to say yes because it was MIZZOU Magazine and I'm damn proud to be a Tiger. I receive this magazine in the mail and check the website and never once thought I would be cool enough to be featured. It's a huge school with thousands and thousands and thousands of alumni and they choose me to feature. That's pretty damn awesome. 

MIZZOU Magazine, for those of you unfortunate souls who did not attend Mizzou (kidding, kidding.....sorry of.  Okay, no, not really) is our alumni magazine.  I was approached by a writer asking if I'd be willing to interview for a web-based story for their website.  Relay For Life of Mizzou is this weekend and they thought my story of how I came full circle would be a a great one to feature.
For those that don't know this story, here is condensed version:
I began Relaying in 2004 as a freshman at Mizzou.  I didn't know what Relay was, but my co-workers were doing it so I joined.  I also hadn't been truly touched by cancer so I didn't have a personal connection but still believed in the cause.
Fast forward to my third year of college and I was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma.  My friends and family created Melzie's Warriors and walked in my honor that year.
The following years I continued to participate in Relay For Life of Mizzou, volunteering on the committee to plan the event as well as being Team Captain for Melzie's Warriors.
In 2012, I was living in Florida and my husband and I only participated in the Survivor and Caregiver Lap and spent a few hours walking the track.  We just didn't know enough people to get a team together.
In October 2013, we moved to Jacksonville, FL where I found a position working with the American Cancer Society.  I applied, interviewed, and was hired as Relay For Life Specialist, working with four committees to organize and execute four Relay For Life events in two counties here.  

Enough blabbering, I'm really just here to show you the article :)  Click HERE for the article!!!

If you want more information about Relay For Life or how to get involved in your area, don't hesitate to contact me!!!!

7th Lifeaversary

Today is bitter sweet.  It would have been my grandparents 59th wedding anniversary.  It breaks my heart that Grandpa is gone, and it breaks my heart even more to think about my Grandma, alone.  But today also marks my seven year mark of being cancer free.  At first I felt badly being happy today, but I know Grandpa is celebrating.  He was one of my biggest supporters and helped me fight the disease.  I wish he could be beside me as a survivor, but unfortunately God had other plans.  I feel guilty being happy over my milestone knowing that Grandma is hurting today because her own husband lost his cancer battle, but someone said to me, "You should be happy and embrace the celebration, because it means your family didn't lose two of you to cancer."  

And they're right.  So I'm embracing my happiness.  Working at the "Dream Job" has opened my eyes even more to just how amazing of an accomplishment it truly is.  I know this anniversary is worth a celebration.  Tomorrow marks my 29th birthday.  And birthdays are a huge deal to cancer survivors.  Take a look at the American Cancer Society.  They are the official sponsor of birthdays, because they know how huge it is.  We see the birthday song as a victory song.  Birthdays, to a cancer survivor, symbolize a fight won.  

A lot of people dread getting older.  And while I'm sad that it seems time goes by faster the older I get, I am not one of those people who hates their birthday.  Yes, 29 feels old, but I'm happy to be turning 29 years old.  It means I've made it another year without cancer rearing it's ugly head and taking my life.  A lot of people didn't get the chance to turn 29 because of cancer.  My life could have been cut short at 21 years old.  I remember going in for my scan on November 20, 2006, just one month after finishing my last treatment.  I knew the severity of my disease.  I knew our only hope was the past seven months of treatment.  That if that scan showed evidence of disease, it was pretty much a death sentence.  It's just the nature of Leiomyosarcoma.  I sat in the waiting room on that November 20th, scared out of my mind.  I was far from excited about my birthday the next day.  I found myself wondering if it would be my last.  

I'm happy to say that wasn't the case.  I'm elated to say I've now had seven birthdays since that scan in 2006, and I'm about to celebrate one more tomorrow.  I embrace 29.  I celebrate seven years of being cancer free.  I celebrate my Lifeaversary.  It's the day I realized my battle had been won, my life would not be ending anytime soon, and as we cancer survivors see it, we are given a second chance at life.  A new life we call 'life after cancer'.  A life where everything is different, sometimes harder, but most certainly more beautiful.  

I know this celebration and importance might be hard for some to understand.  And I don't expect others to.  I know there are some reading this, rolling their eyes.  And it's okay.  I don't mind.  It's hard to understand unless a doctor has told you that they didn't expect you to make it.  It's hard to understand unless you knew the odds were strongly against you.  There are certainly situations I do not understand, because I simply do not know what it's like.  During this time, I lean on my cancer buddies.  The friends I've made through this wonderful blogland, cancer forums, support groups, Facebook groups, and of course my family and friends.  You all understand me.  And I'm so grateful for that.  

I celebrate because I realize, sadly, not everyone is as lucky as I am.  Like my dear Grandpa.  I beat the odds and I survived.  But unfortunately, that's not how every cancer patient's story ends.  I lived a life of pure hell.  I still deal with numerous complications.  But this day, seven years ago, I learned that cancer was no longer in control of my body.  No longer shutting me down.  I had won.  I was going to live to see my 23rd birthday and many more after.  I could finally begin to adjust to life after cancer; to my new normal.  I could finally celebrate. 

And so today, and every November 20th, I celebrate.  

How?  Nothing extravagant.  My celebration is really just me high-fiving myself.  It's the time I feel really great about myself.  I reflect on where I was, what I endured, how far I've come, and what I still deal with.  I'm truly proud of myself and the strength I had to make it through it all.  The determination to endure surgery, recovery, radiation, more recovery, chemotherapy, and all the side effects.  Add in continuing to go to school and work part-time as a preschool teacher, while traveling back and forth from CoMO to St. Louis.  It was so hard but I did it.  And I am damn proud of myself.

And because I don't want you all to think I'm beyond pathetic and celebrated by myself with just a self high-five,  Nick did celebrate with me.  Per his usual tradition on this date, I received white roses, symbolizing purity and cleanliness. 

Nicholas also took me out for dinner to celebrate.  

{I'm always so fascinated by the fire and of course the volcano onion, that suddenly becomes a "choo-choo" train chugging along across the grill.  What can I say, I'm a child at heart.}

So.Much.Food.  Does anyone ever really finish all their soup (that Nick and I determined had little sperm floating in it.  Don't worry, I included that picture for you), the salad, the rice, vegetables, and meat?!

Of course no celebration is complete without wine!  (But if we're being honest, no day in general is complete without a glass of wine.)

Dinner was delicious and we left with full bellies.  Despite the fullness, we made a stop at the grocery store because I was craving some chocolate donuts.  (That I ended up eating in bed).

And my five year old child of a husband spent a good 15 minutes debating what type of fruit snacks he wanted.

And that's all we bought.  No shame.

It was a wonderful day.  Thank you to all my friends and family that sent me cards, messages, texts, and phone calls.  It truly means so much to me to wake up in the morning and see my inbox and Facebook wall flooded with love and support.  I truly am blessed for all the amazing people in my life.  

Recap: Trip Home to St. Louis

It's really hard for me to write this blog post because I feel guilty focusing on my time at home that was fun.  When I think about my trip home, Grandpa's passing is the first thing that enters my mind.  And it's hard to push that aside and remember all the fun I had while home.

My original intent for going home was not for Grandpa.  I go home every August to get my yearly surgery AND because my Dad would be turning 60!!!!  Grandpa going through chemotherapy treatments was just a perk for me to get to spend that time with him.  I know a lot of people think I was heading home because of Grandpa, but in reality, I had my August trip planned since well before we even knew Grandpa had cancer.

Leah and I headed home to St. Louis, with her dogs in tow, on August 2nd.  Here are some of the significant highlights from my trip home:

Cousins' Night Out:  Backstreet's Back!
On August 3rd, after spending the day at Grandpa and Grandma's house, we headed out for our Cousins' Night Out.  We decided to relive our childhood at the Backstreet Boys concert (Let it be known that we were all obsessed with *NSYNC.  Our loyalty still lies with them but who could pass up a boy band concert to relive the past?!)  We went out to dinner and then headed to the concert.  After the concert, we had a slumber party at my cousin Teeny's condo.  In the morning, we crashed her parents house for my uncle's infamous chocolate chip and M&M pancakes!!!

(we are not duck-facers.  This was done with the intention of mocking that ridiculousness.)

Endoscopy
This was the reason for my visit home and thankfully, all went well.  (I blogged about this while I was home so you can check it out HERE)

Chemo with Grandpa
In 2006, I underwent a very intense cancer treatment regiment.  I first started with radiation, which lasted six weeks and I went every weekday.  Following those six weeks, I had another six weeks to try to gain some weight (radiation knocked me down pretty badly and I was weighing in at just 101 pounds).  I finally began chemotherapy and my regiment was the most intense at the time, with two of the strongest drugs.  I went to chemo Monday through Friday every third week over a 15 week period (five total weeks).  My chemo sessions kept me at the hospital for almost 8 hours each day.  Because chemo was so long and so frequent, my mother could not attend all my treatments with me.  As I'm sure you know all know by now, I have an amazing family.  Aunts, uncles, siblings, friends, cousins, etc took off work and skipped classes to take me to chemo, sit with me, and bring me home.  During this time, I was pretty sick.  I slept the entire day...the ride to the hospital, in the waiting room, during my chemo infusion, the ride home, after I got home, and all night long.  I really was not awake during my chemo weeks.  In addition to this, I got so weak that I was wheelchair bound unless in my own home.  Grandpa, being retired and so awesome, was one of my regulars at chemo.  He sat with me, in those freezing cold rooms, all day long.  So caring and loving.  Always providing a smile and a laugh.  It was very important for me to get to attend at least one chemo treatment with him.  I could never repay him for all the love, support, and laughs he gave me during my cancer journey, but I wanted to do this with him.  I wanted to now be his chemo buddy.  Thankfully for me, one of his chemo treatments fell during my visit home.  This was his second chemo treatment, and it ended up being his last.  I drove Grandpa, Grandma, and Leah to chemo on August 8th.  We sat with Grandpa, having quite a few laughs, and I helped Grandma with feeding tube "lunch".  The next day, I took Grandpa back to get his white blood cell shot.
I am so thankful that I was able to spend this day with him.  Grandpa's love and support during my cancer battle meant the world to me and I'm happy I was able to repay him, even though it was nothing compared to all he's done for me.  I'm happy we were able to fill his days with smiles and laughs during such an awful experience.  I will forever be grateful that I was able to attend a chemo with him, as he did with me.

Sibling Weekend
The weekend of the 9th through the 11th, Leah and I headed to Kansas City (well really Kansas but who wants to admit they went to Kansas??  Not I!).  Randy moved to KC a few months ago for work and Ben just recently moved there after getting a new job.  It's weird to have him living 4 hours from home but I'm happy he's happy and finally back with Randy.  We had a great weekend seeing his new place, hanging out with friends (they started out as his friends but after my many years of living in CoMO, they've turned into my friends as well), and enjoying time with just us siblings.  We talked about our childhood, our concern for Grandpa, Grandma, and our own parents.  We talked about our fears and wishes.  It was a much needed mini-vacay for me and I wish my siblings and I could have this more often.

Of course we went out for some Kansas City BBQ

Ben & Mark found a video game-esque beer so of course they bought it.  And of course Ben drank it out of his Mario Brother's mug.

Ben bought an original Clue game at a swap meet but he'd NEVER played before!!!  Of course we broke it out to play a few games (while also watching the movie "Clue")

Dinner with Friends
I was able to squeeze in some really quick dinners with friends.  I hate that time home is so rushed but I love getting to see my friends.  I consider myself very lucky to have kept in such close contact with so many of them and I feel we're closer than we were when I was living in St. Louis.

Cardinals Game
Nick came in town halfway through my (what should have been) last week in town.  His aunt and uncle invited us to a Cardinals day game and of course we accepted.  We met them at a casino downtown where the guys gambled and Nick's aunt and I chatted.  We attended one freaking awesome game where the Cardinals made a ridiculous come back to beat the Pirates in extra innings.

Fireworks for the WIN!

Afterwards, we happened to walk by Jim Hayes and Rick Horton doing their post-game show.  We took some photos of them doing their broadcast and then Nick's aunt suggested that Nick and I pose with them behind us, at their desk, doing their show.  As she takes the picture, we see her laughing.  Upon getting my phone back, I look at the photo and see this:

They photobombed us!!!  We wanted them just sitting there, doing their broadcast but instead we got this.  Epic!! When I looked up, the two of them were laughing so hard and they asked to see the photo, upon which they laughed even harder.  They are Nick and my favorite sports talk show hosts because they always seem like such goofy guys, always laughing.  And this photo just confirms that!

Dad's 60th
This was one of my main reasons for coming to St. Louis.  Dad turned 60 on the 16th!!!!  My Dad is who I get the "big kid at heart" thing from so for his birthday, he simply wanted to spend the day at the Zoo with his family.  And that's what we did.

We had dinner plans but we got a call that Grandpa was being taken to the emergency room so we all headed there instead.  Sadly, this is where we spent the remainder of Dad's birthday, and Leah's birthday the next day.  Sunday was supposed to be a large birthday party for Dad and Leah, but we decided immediately to cancel that because of things going on with Grandpa.  (Which ended up being a good idea, because Sunday was the day Grandpa passed away.)

My amazing family, together, as we were for three days, in the waiting room.

Unfortunately, the rest of my visit home would be one of tears and heartbreak.  Grandpa never left the hospital.  All 16 of us stayed the next three days at St. Anthony's until Grandpa finally left us to be with Jesus.  His passing was very unexpected.  Many have asked what happened and I do plan to write a blog post about it.  I apologize in advance because it might be all over the place.  Friday afternoon through Sunday all seem to run together but I'll try to remember what I can.

Relay for Life 2013 : Pensacola Beach

Last night I attended my second Relay for Life down here in Florida.  And I can honestly say it was my favorite location!!!!  This Relay was literally right there on the beach!!!!  There is a giant pavilion and that's where it was held.  It was so awesome to hear the waves crashing, smell of salty air, and have the view of the beautiful beach while walking laps or sitting at the campsites.

My husband is awesome at paying attention to detail (said with complete sarcasm).  Hence my sash that you can't even read!!!  

Elizabeth!  A great friend who understands the importance of organizations that help out research for cures and advancement in medicines.  The Betes and Sarcomies pair!! (Diabetes and Leiomyosarcoma that is)

With my every patient and loving supporter and encourager.  I could not have asked for a better husband.

The event started out as it always does, with the Survivor Lap.  But this was a little different than all the other Relays I've been to. Normally, the Survivors and their Caregivers walk together.  During this Relay, just the Survivors walked in the Survivor Lap.  As we came back around, our Caregivers joined us for the Caregiver Lap.  Once that lap was completed, all other participants were welcome to join us.  It was also pretty awesome because the McGuires bag pipe band led our walk!!!

Our campsite view (water is to the left)

Made a new friend who was diagnosed around the same time as me and is also largely involved in ACS and RFL!  These are awesome friendships and great connections to have!!!!!

Caregiver Lap!!

Nick and I joined the HT-28 Hellions team (another helicopter squadron at NAS Whiting Field that our friends are in.)  Of course we each bought of their kick ass shirts.  Why not?  They are awesome, helo-related, and the money goes to a great cause!

Unfortunately, my "something I ate isn't agreeing with me" feeling turned into a full on "I'm sick".    I fought the feeling for far too long and eventually had to sit down because I was too dizzy to stand.  A little while later, I had to excuse myself to the restroom and threw up.  Closing time.  The flu has been going around our elementary schools and I know I am far from immune.  I'm not shocked I got sick but I was really disappointed because this also meant I wouldn't be driving to Mobile to partake in Noelle's bachelorette party :(  I was an emotional mess over it all.  I loathe being sick.  Quite honestly, I should be used to it.  Ever since I got cancer, my immune system sucks.  It's inevitable with the drugs I had.  I now eat very healthy, I exercise, drink only water (98% of the time anyway), and I get a good night's sleep each night.  But doesn't matter.  I can do everything right and I'll still get whatever is going around.  Just the life of cancer survivor I guess.

Anyway, Nick took me home.  I was bummed that we missed the Luminaria Ceremony, especially because my mother and a few others had purchased some for me.  But I just couldn't take it anymore.  I needed my bed.  Nick assured me that we'd attend the Milton Relay for Life and as he always does, he'd get a luminaria for me.  While I appreciated, I was still being a sick, whiny baby.  Good thing I have a patient and loving "nurse" who got me all tucked into bed and took care of me the rest of the weekend.

[To view more pictures, visit my SmugMug site HERE.]