Recap: Trip Home to St. Louis

It's really hard for me to write this blog post because I feel guilty focusing on my time at home that was fun.  When I think about my trip home, Grandpa's passing is the first thing that enters my mind.  And it's hard to push that aside and remember all the fun I had while home.

My original intent for going home was not for Grandpa.  I go home every August to get my yearly surgery AND because my Dad would be turning 60!!!!  Grandpa going through chemotherapy treatments was just a perk for me to get to spend that time with him.  I know a lot of people think I was heading home because of Grandpa, but in reality, I had my August trip planned since well before we even knew Grandpa had cancer.

Leah and I headed home to St. Louis, with her dogs in tow, on August 2nd.  Here are some of the significant highlights from my trip home:

Cousins' Night Out:  Backstreet's Back!
On August 3rd, after spending the day at Grandpa and Grandma's house, we headed out for our Cousins' Night Out.  We decided to relive our childhood at the Backstreet Boys concert (Let it be known that we were all obsessed with *NSYNC.  Our loyalty still lies with them but who could pass up a boy band concert to relive the past?!)  We went out to dinner and then headed to the concert.  After the concert, we had a slumber party at my cousin Teeny's condo.  In the morning, we crashed her parents house for my uncle's infamous chocolate chip and M&M pancakes!!!

(we are not duck-facers.  This was done with the intention of mocking that ridiculousness.)

Endoscopy
This was the reason for my visit home and thankfully, all went well.  (I blogged about this while I was home so you can check it out HERE)

Chemo with Grandpa
In 2006, I underwent a very intense cancer treatment regiment.  I first started with radiation, which lasted six weeks and I went every weekday.  Following those six weeks, I had another six weeks to try to gain some weight (radiation knocked me down pretty badly and I was weighing in at just 101 pounds).  I finally began chemotherapy and my regiment was the most intense at the time, with two of the strongest drugs.  I went to chemo Monday through Friday every third week over a 15 week period (five total weeks).  My chemo sessions kept me at the hospital for almost 8 hours each day.  Because chemo was so long and so frequent, my mother could not attend all my treatments with me.  As I'm sure you know all know by now, I have an amazing family.  Aunts, uncles, siblings, friends, cousins, etc took off work and skipped classes to take me to chemo, sit with me, and bring me home.  During this time, I was pretty sick.  I slept the entire day...the ride to the hospital, in the waiting room, during my chemo infusion, the ride home, after I got home, and all night long.  I really was not awake during my chemo weeks.  In addition to this, I got so weak that I was wheelchair bound unless in my own home.  Grandpa, being retired and so awesome, was one of my regulars at chemo.  He sat with me, in those freezing cold rooms, all day long.  So caring and loving.  Always providing a smile and a laugh.  It was very important for me to get to attend at least one chemo treatment with him.  I could never repay him for all the love, support, and laughs he gave me during my cancer journey, but I wanted to do this with him.  I wanted to now be his chemo buddy.  Thankfully for me, one of his chemo treatments fell during my visit home.  This was his second chemo treatment, and it ended up being his last.  I drove Grandpa, Grandma, and Leah to chemo on August 8th.  We sat with Grandpa, having quite a few laughs, and I helped Grandma with feeding tube "lunch".  The next day, I took Grandpa back to get his white blood cell shot.
I am so thankful that I was able to spend this day with him.  Grandpa's love and support during my cancer battle meant the world to me and I'm happy I was able to repay him, even though it was nothing compared to all he's done for me.  I'm happy we were able to fill his days with smiles and laughs during such an awful experience.  I will forever be grateful that I was able to attend a chemo with him, as he did with me.

Sibling Weekend
The weekend of the 9th through the 11th, Leah and I headed to Kansas City (well really Kansas but who wants to admit they went to Kansas??  Not I!).  Randy moved to KC a few months ago for work and Ben just recently moved there after getting a new job.  It's weird to have him living 4 hours from home but I'm happy he's happy and finally back with Randy.  We had a great weekend seeing his new place, hanging out with friends (they started out as his friends but after my many years of living in CoMO, they've turned into my friends as well), and enjoying time with just us siblings.  We talked about our childhood, our concern for Grandpa, Grandma, and our own parents.  We talked about our fears and wishes.  It was a much needed mini-vacay for me and I wish my siblings and I could have this more often.

Of course we went out for some Kansas City BBQ

Ben & Mark found a video game-esque beer so of course they bought it.  And of course Ben drank it out of his Mario Brother's mug.

Ben bought an original Clue game at a swap meet but he'd NEVER played before!!!  Of course we broke it out to play a few games (while also watching the movie "Clue")

Dinner with Friends
I was able to squeeze in some really quick dinners with friends.  I hate that time home is so rushed but I love getting to see my friends.  I consider myself very lucky to have kept in such close contact with so many of them and I feel we're closer than we were when I was living in St. Louis.

Cardinals Game
Nick came in town halfway through my (what should have been) last week in town.  His aunt and uncle invited us to a Cardinals day game and of course we accepted.  We met them at a casino downtown where the guys gambled and Nick's aunt and I chatted.  We attended one freaking awesome game where the Cardinals made a ridiculous come back to beat the Pirates in extra innings.

Fireworks for the WIN!

Afterwards, we happened to walk by Jim Hayes and Rick Horton doing their post-game show.  We took some photos of them doing their broadcast and then Nick's aunt suggested that Nick and I pose with them behind us, at their desk, doing their show.  As she takes the picture, we see her laughing.  Upon getting my phone back, I look at the photo and see this:

They photobombed us!!!  We wanted them just sitting there, doing their broadcast but instead we got this.  Epic!! When I looked up, the two of them were laughing so hard and they asked to see the photo, upon which they laughed even harder.  They are Nick and my favorite sports talk show hosts because they always seem like such goofy guys, always laughing.  And this photo just confirms that!

Dad's 60th
This was one of my main reasons for coming to St. Louis.  Dad turned 60 on the 16th!!!!  My Dad is who I get the "big kid at heart" thing from so for his birthday, he simply wanted to spend the day at the Zoo with his family.  And that's what we did.

We had dinner plans but we got a call that Grandpa was being taken to the emergency room so we all headed there instead.  Sadly, this is where we spent the remainder of Dad's birthday, and Leah's birthday the next day.  Sunday was supposed to be a large birthday party for Dad and Leah, but we decided immediately to cancel that because of things going on with Grandpa.  (Which ended up being a good idea, because Sunday was the day Grandpa passed away.)

My amazing family, together, as we were for three days, in the waiting room.

Unfortunately, the rest of my visit home would be one of tears and heartbreak.  Grandpa never left the hospital.  All 16 of us stayed the next three days at St. Anthony's until Grandpa finally left us to be with Jesus.  His passing was very unexpected.  Many have asked what happened and I do plan to write a blog post about it.  I apologize in advance because it might be all over the place.  Friday afternoon through Sunday all seem to run together but I'll try to remember what I can.

Julius' Winging

Thursday evening we headed up to Meridian to help Julius celebrate one of the biggest accomplishments of his life...receiving his wings of gold.

After the Memorial Service on Friday morning, we headed over to the hangar with Julius and his family.  We watched as Julius and the other wingees in his squadron were recognized for their hard work and given certificates for their various accomplishments.

Afterwards we took some photos by the T-45, the jet Julius' just trained on.

Nick checking out Julius' plane

Following this small informal ceremony, we headed back to the Chapel for Julius and the others guys' winging ceremony.  Each wingee was called forward, a loved one pinned their wings on, a family photo was taken, and that was it!  Short and sweet!

The world's newest aviators

I am not ashamed to admit that I teared up.  This is a huge accomplishment.  It's said that it's their second most important and most memorable life event (coming in after their weddings).  If you know someone in the aviation community, then you know just how hard these guys have worked to achieve this.  Those wings of gold are a symbol of the hard work, dedication, and sacrifice that they've made for years.  Those wings now signify they are true United States Aviators.
I could not be more proud of Julius and I am so happy I was able to be in attendance.

That evening, we all headed to their winging party and continued the celebration.  We had a lot of fun and it was great to see so many other people whom we hadn't seen since the USNA days or since some moved on from Pensacola.  And as always, it was great to spend even more time with Julius and his family.

Mr. and Mrs. Bratton

Julius' niece, best hometown friend, and sister

With the newest wingee, Julius 'Baby Cakes" Bratton

The next day, Saturday, we needed to head back to Pensacola for Nick to study and prepare for his flights the next day.  We ventured over to Julius' house then headed to his family's hotel to say goodbye.  I am quite proud of myself because I held my tears in.  This is probably the last time we will see Julius for a while.  He reports to Lemoore, California to fly the F-18 Super Hornet (his first choice of aircraft) in just three weeks.  It's hard to imagine that after seven years, we're finally parting ways.  For the past seven years, he's always been there.  The first four years I talked to him everyday and "saw" him frequently.  These past two years we have been so fortunate to have him so close (just 3.5 hours).  We saw him so often that we were pretty spoiled, (as far as military friends go), in our friendship.  But now it was time for the "see ya later."  I know we'll see him again.  I'm told it's a small Navy and our paths will cross again.  They better, that's all I have to say!  No matter if our paths cross or not, we won't lose this friendship we have, because our bond is closer than that.  Julius is family to us.

Julius started out as Nick's roommate during plebe summer and they quickly became best friends and then brothers.  Julius has very much so been a huge part of my life the past seven years.  All four years at the Academy, I could not have a conversation without Julius' mouth running in the background.  At times when I'd call the room, Nick wouldn't be in there yet Julius and I would talk for quite a while.  Any time Nick and I video-chatted, Julius' big ol' head was right there next to Nick's.  He was always the third wheel, voluntarily, on our video dates.  But I have no complaints about that.  Because of Nick and Julius' closeness, Julius quickly became a close friend to me.  There were many times I sought his advice or input on a situation.  In a very short time, Julius became the little brother that God and my parents never gave me.  He's much more than a friend to Nick and I.  He goes far beyond what a friend is and we feel blessed to have him in our lives.  He truly is family.

Likewise, his family has become family to us.  Not only are we blessed to have Julius as a brother, but he has an amazing family who considers us family.  We met his family during Commissioning Week (May 2011) and had an absolute blast with them.  Christmas leave 2011, on our way through Tennessee back down south to Florida, we stopped by the Bratton Farm.  They welcomed us (and our crazy pups) in their home, fed us dinner (and me margaritas) and let us relax for a bit.  Now here we are a year and a half later, reunited and things haven't changed.  Mr. Bratton refers to Nick and I as Julius' siblings and insisted on us being in the family photos.  It was hard saying goodbye to them because it will be much more difficult for our paths to cross but hopefully we see them soon.  I received a message from Julius' father just one day later asking me to keep him updated on Nick's winging because he'd love to come to it.  And we most definitely would love for him to join us!  Especially since Julius won't be able to attend :(

Overall, it was a great weekend spent with family, celebrating such a huge milestone in Julius' life.  I might give him a hard time most of the time (that's what big sisters do, right?) but I love that kid to death and don't know what I'd do without him.  He's played a huge role in our relationship, in my life, and most certainly in Nick's life.  I could not have picked a better best friend for Nick and I am so happy they were thrown together in a room plebe summer.  He's truly been a blessing in our lives and we are thankful we get to call him a best friend and brother.

Congratulations Julius.  I know you don't need it, but best of luck in Lemoore.  Be smart and stay safe.  Thank you for everything these past seven years.  It's hard to watch you go so far away, but we know our paths will cross again.  Just as you do now, you will always have a room at our house.  We love you.

Fair winds and following seas dear brother.

Memorial Service

Friday morning Nick and I attended the memorial service at the NAS Meridian Chapel for Patrick Drury and Kyle McArthur, both classmates of Nick's from the Naval Academy.
{The two guys were jet pilots stationed at NAS Meridian and were killed in a car accident early on Father's Day, Sunday June 16, 2013.}

The Chapel was packed with friends and family who came to honor these two men, celebrate their lives, and pay their respects.
Up front in the chapel stood their USNA class photos along with their helmets.  I didn't know these two men but it was difficult for even me to look at it.  Just so heartbreaking.

It was an emotional morning.  It was the first time I have ever seen Nick cry, which was actually really hard for me.  I felt awful because I didn't know what to do but at the same time, there's nothing I could do.  Nothing I or anyone did would erase the sadness of losing a friend or classmate.  He would reach over and grab my leg, pretty hard.  I'd look over and see tears welling up in his eyes.  I'd then grab his hand and he'd hold it so hard that I thought it was going to break. It just broke my heart to see him and so many other men crying and hurting over the loss of Pat and Kyle.

The service was beautiful, funny, and sad.  A whirlwind of emotions for sure.

Pat and Kyle had so many friends.  Both of their three roommates spoke about them and a few other friends, Julius included, also told stories, most of which had everyone laughing.
Listening to these stories, it made me sad that I didn't know them.  They seemed like amazing guys and I felt like I was missing out.  I'm sure others in attendance who never had that pleasure felt the same way I did. They were the type who lived their lives for others, never taking a moment for granted, and simply enjoying life.  Even without the stories, it was obvious how amazing they were by the attendance of the service; by the number of people who drove or flew in to attend the service.
Pat and Kyle's families also spoke which only reiterated how amazing they were; how loved they were by their family.  It's just so sad to know they were taken from everyone who loved them so deeply.

Towards the end of the ceremony, both Pat and Kyle were designated as Naval Aviators and their parents were presented with their wings of gold.  It was such a touching moment.  After the wings were presented, a man spoke (there were a few, and I don't remember if it was their CO or perhaps the Commodore) and he said that Pat and Kyle are now flying up in the sky with their wings of gold.  So when their classmates are up there flying in their aircrafts, Pat and Kyle will be amongst them, soaring through the sky, watching over them and protecting them.  There was not a dry eye in the chapel at this moment.  I truly believe this and it's a comforting thought to know Nick and the other aviators have aviator angels watching over them.


Later in the evening, after the winging ceremony had occurred that afternoon, Pat and Kyle were also honored at the winging party.  Their photos, helmets, flowers, and their drink of choice were displayed on a table.  Throughout the night, their friends and family visited the table, toasting and clinking glasses with Pat and Kyle.  It was such a bittersweet and overwhelming sight.  But from what everyone says, these two loved to party and have a good time.  They would have wanted the newest wingees to party hard and celebrate their big accomplishment.  And they did, all while celebrating with Pat and Kyle in their hearts.

Please keep Pat and Kyle's family and friends in your thoughts and prayers as they accept, grieve, and find peace in the passing of their loved ones.  They were amazing men and they surely will not be forgotten.

Rest in Peace Patrick and Kyle.  May Angels lead you in.

MSAD 2013

A lot of you might be saying, "What the crap is MSAD?"  I'm lazy so I'll only type this once; it stands for Military Spouse Appreciation Day, which occurs every year on the Friday before Mother's Day.

This is only my second "official" MSAD seeing as we've only been married just shy of two years. But previous to our wedding, Nick would still send me a sappy email about how even though we weren't married, he still appreciated the sacrifices and support I provided him.

Yesterday morning, I woke up early and found a card awaiting me on the kitchen table.  I opened it up and inside was of course a sweet message from Nick along with a Starbucks giftcard!!!!!  Now, this might not seem like a big deal, but it's HUGE!  Nick despises Starbuck's.  I mean, he hates coffee (anything even remotely coffee scented or flavored...even a mocha candle!), but he truly hates Starbuck's because he thinks they charge WAY too much for their drinks.  And I agree....they are pretty expensive when you think about how little you're actually getting for that amount ("I could get a 24 pack of Mountain Dew for what you pay for one drink").  But the sad truth is, there's just not an alternative.  I definitely cannot make frapps as great as theirs (which is what I order 95% of the time).  And there are no other coffee places around here, except gas stations, which are not anything to brag about.  That being said, I don't get Starbucks often because when I do, I hear his voice and see my medical/student loan debt and then I'm overcome with guilt.  "If I add up all these coffees, that's a monthly payment."  (Not to mention, I try to not have coffee more than three times a month.)
So anyway, all that to say him getting me a giftcard to a place he LOATHES means a LOT!

When Nick got home from work that evening, he offered to make dinner.  (Thankfully this wasn't just a MSAD thing.  Nick makes dinners for us about 50% of the time.  I just got lucky like that.)  After dinner, we watched the Cardinals game and he played with my hair AND scratched my back!!!  I don't know about you all, but those are two of my absolute favorite things!!!!  Again, he does these things often but this night, I got it for a good solid hour!!!!

After dinner, Nick took me out for dessert and drinks!!  And unbeknownst to us, it was 2 for 1!!!  As always, we had great conversations and I just love talking about our exciting future!  I still get butterflies and all giddy just as I did when we were dating and we first began talking about possibly getting married and having a forever together.

I feel blessed that Nick remembers this day and does something to make it special.  But I feel blessed that I married a man who constantly appreciates me.  Almost daily, Nicholas will tell me how much appreciates all that I do for him and the support I provide.  He truly understands that while I'm loving this life with him, it's incredibly difficult for me to be away from my family and friends.  He understands the struggle with nursing school and that I've had to delay that next step for my professional future.  He understands my concern and worry with not having my doctors just down the road.  He understands the hardships associated with finding employment.  He recognizes all the little things I do for him, our dogs, and our house so that it's one less thing for him to worry and stress about, spend time doing, or occupying his mind when he's flying.  He knows I do these things to make his demanding and exhausting career easier and worth it.
I know I am incredibly lucky to have a man who not only recognizes these things, but thanks me daily for them.  Sure, today I got a gift for it, and I'm grateful for that.  But every other day, I get his random from-behind-hugs while I'm doing dishes, his random pull-you-off-the-couch embraces, his random forehead kisses, etc accompanied by a "Do you know how much I Love you?" and "Thank you for everything you do for me and our family."  Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me such a loving, caring, and appreciative man.
The thing is, I don't do these things for the praise. I do them simply because I Love him.  I'm proud of him.  And I love our life together.  I'm dedicated to making this life as easy and as best as it can be.  He works so hard to support us and I want to do all I can to show HIM how much I appreciate his hard work and dedication to our family and our country.


And now, I'd like to wish a VERY Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day (okay, so I typed it twice) to all my fellow wives (and fiances, girlfriends/boyfriends, and husbands) out there!
Some of you have become my best friends and you make this crazy life not only bearable, but enjoyable!!!!!  You've helped me turn an unknown town into home; a place I've come to love and will be sad to leave.  Others of you, some I've never met, (yet someday hope to), have offered support and advice on anything and everything, been there for me during the rough times, and prayed for me in my times of need.  I feel blessed to call you all friends because you are by far some of the strongest, most dedicated, resilient, and independent women I know.  It's most definitely not an easy life, but you all handle it with such ease and grace that civilians might wonder why some complain about it!  I hope you all know how special you are and that your support and love to not only your spouses and families is appreciated, but your friendship is appreciated as well!!!!



I'm just one month shy of being a two year Navy Wife.  While I do not define myself solely as a "Navy Wife", I am damn proud to be one!!!
When Nick and I began dating, I was hesitant to take the jump and fully commit to him.  I kept saying "I don't want to marry a military man and live that lifestyle."  (Thank goodness for my best friend, Jessie.  Had it not been for her knocking some sense into me, I would have lost the best thing to ever happen to me!)  I finally decided to take a risk, knowing this life would be far from easy.  I wish I could report I was wrong, but I was right.  This life has been difficult at times.  It's never easy to leave a family that you're ridiculously close with, the best friends on earth, a city you adore, and a job you love.  I left the only life I knew behind to start a new (and somewhat scary) one with Nicholas, in a whole new city where I knew no one.  In just these two short years, I've come to love this lifestyle.  Sure, I miss my family and friends, St. Louis, and my old job, but I no longer cry when I think of them.  Committing to Nicholas was most definitely the absolute best risk I've ever taken!
The experiences I've had, the places I've lived, the amazing people I've met, and the knowledge I've gained have made this all worth it.  My marriage has grown stronger than I ever imagined possible and we have a Love and friendship I did not know could truly exist.  Although I did not think it was possible the day we left St. Louis in a moving truck, I can honestly say there are an infinite amount of positives to this lifestyle.  My pros now outweigh the cons.  Both of them have made me a better person and I cannot imagine my life any differently.  I know we'll hit bumps here and there, and things will test my strength, our marriage, and my faith, but with Nicholas and my amazing military wives, I know I can overcome anything the Navy throws our way!  Our journey is far from over, and I look forward to seeing where our next chapter will be!!!!

Easter 2013

Sadly, we were not able to be in St. Louis for Easter with our family.  But that didn't mean we didn't celebrate on our own  =)

If you don't know me, then I need to tell you that I'm truly a big kid at heart.  I love holidays and partaking in all the traditional festivities.  So of course that means that the Easter Bunny visits our house leaving baskets of sugary goodness and hiding eggs.
In our house, there are two Easter Bunnies...Nick and I.  Nick of course plays Easter Bunny for me, and I for him.  We each secretly fill each other's baskets to wake up to on Easter morning.  But Nick didn't get all his wonderful candy in his basket.  Some of it was tucked inside plastic eggs that he had to find around the house.  Yep, that's right, I sent Nick on an Easter egg hunt throughout the house.  It was too cute watching him walk around, carrying his basket, finding his eggs.

Happy Easter!!!  Just after waking up!

The baskets left by the Easter Bunny.  I'm sure you can guess which one is mine.  

Obviously my favorite items in my basket.

I was pretty sad to not be indulging in our huge Easter brunch full of wonderful breakfast foods, a giant ham, and of course, mimosas.  Nick doesn't eat breakfast foods (yeah, I know, I married a dud) otherwise I would have cooked a delicious breakfast spread for ourselves but I cannot eat that much food.  So we settled for cinnamon rolls...one thing Nick will eat.

After the Easter fun and breakfast, we lounged around a bit, snacking on candy.  I didn't want to sit around all day and do nothing because I would just be sad, thinking about how much I'd like to be in St. Louis and how I'm always so busy on Easter.  Last year, I Skyped with my family during Easter and that helped a bit, but this year, Easter was being celebrated at my Grandparents, which means no internet (and FaceTiming isn't an option because we are all on the old unlimited data plan with ATT which means no FaceTiming over 4G even though we have the newer phones.)  So instead, we opted to take advantage of the amazing life here in Florida and headed to the gorgeous beaches with Yadi, Vino, and great friends (human and dog.)  The day really couldn't have been any better.

Their typical car riding position...even though there's plenty of room on the seat for Vino.  Yadi doesn't mind at all!

This is the reason Vino is tied up.  Her hunter instincts just take over and when she spots a bird, she's GONE!  No amount of training, commands, or even highest setting of e-collars will stop her.  She was born to hunt.  She will chase them over a mile before realizing she can't get it and come back.  We tie her up to save ourselves the heart attack.

Our standoff

After arriving home, I got a call from my mother telling me to check Facebook.  Apparently my sister, (stationed in Alabama and not able to go home either), and I actually DID make it to my family's Easter this year....courtesy of my brother ;)

My family =)  ....thanks Teeny and Liss for stepping in as us lol.  This made my day!

If I can't be with my family back home, this was the next best way to spend it....Easter baskets, egg hunt, and beach time with great friends.  I hope you all had an amazing Easter!!!

{If you'd like to see all the pictures today, you can look through my April photo album found HERE}