Gifts for You, Gifts For Me, Gifts All Around! {a weekend recap}

I had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks.  My anticipation had nothing to do with any plans we had made.  In fact, it was just the opposite.  It was the first weekend after my events were all over; the first weekend after busy season for my job.  It was the first weekend with no real plans.  A weekend of relaxation.

How quickly that changed.

Little did I know, The Players Championship was this weekend.  The men in my family, which includes my uncles, Nick, and his family, are all really info golf.  I'll be honest, it's not my thing.  It's slow.  It's boring.  I don't know anything about it or anyone who plays, other than Phil Mickelson.  But I've decided to attempt to take an interest in the sport for Nick's sake.  I'd love to get to a point where I can play 9 holes with him.  I think the reason I'm not a golf fan is because it requires a ridiculous amount of skill and intelligence.  I do not have the patience to take the time to really think about my drive or putt.  Even if I did, I can't get the damn ball to go where I want.  I'm a naturally athletic person.  You throw me into a sports game, and I can play...well.  Except golf.  I cannot hit that damn ball for the life of me.  Put me in a softball game, throw a ball at me fast; add a curve to it; make it a change up.  Doesn't matter, I'll connect with it.  But you put a stationary ball on the ground and you're lucky if I can hit it...in any direction.  And it frustrates the crap out of me!!!  Call me immature, but in all honesty, one of the reasons I don't like golf is because I downright suck at it.  But I'm going to take more of an interest.  We had plans to spend all weekend at TPC Sawgrass for The Players Championship, which is a pretty huge golf tournament.

Thankfully, I woke up Friday knowing I got out of golf for the day because Nick was working that evening.  Actually, Friday started out really, really great!  I woke up and took a shower.  When I stepped out of the shower, I saw this on the counter.

I grabbed it and opened the bathroom door to find my husband awake and smiling at me as I walked out with the gift.  His ninja ass somehow came into the bathroom and set this gift on the counter, without my knowing.  (Of course my paranoid self is now worried that someone could into the bathroom without my knowing, even though it's a glass shower.  So naturally I assume someone will now attack me and I won't see them coming or be prepared.  Because, you know, if I did see the open the door I'd be fully prepared for an ambush.)
For those unaware, Friday was Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  For the past few years, Nick has always gotten me a card and a small gift to say thank you.  I'm lucky in that I have a husband who always shows me his appreciation, but it's always nice to be reminded.  Do I expect anything on this day?  No.  I willingly made the decision to marry a man in the military.  I knew some of what I was getting into but I didn't know just how difficult some things would be.  The main one being away from family.  Nicholas knows how hard this is for me so it's nice that he makes an effort to let me know he recognizes it's difficult, but that he's happy I chose to marry him, knowing it meant the sacrifice of being away from family.
Sadly the day didn't end so well seeing as our brand new 2014 Pathfinder had to be towed to the dealership and I had to leave work early to bring them my key.  We're pretty certain it's an issue with the keys, which should be a simple fix, but it's still frustrating.  {When you shut off the car, the seat moves back and the steering wheels up to allow better exit from the SUV.  When you start the car, the seat and steering wheel will move back into position.  I noticed last week that when I started it, it did not do this and my radio stations were messed up.  I assumed maybe it was confusing my key with Nick's (it adjust so to each of personal settings).  But apparently this was an issue and on Friday, it would start but shut off quickly after.)  Now we're driving a loaner car which is this giant ass gas guzzling Armada.  Needless to say, this beast will be sitting in the driveway all weekend.

Friday night, once Nick got home from work, he was surprised with a little "thank you" gift from me.  It was small but I wanted to do something to let him know just how much I appreciate how supportive he's been with my job.  Then it was lots of cuddles and clearing off of the DVR until we passed out.

Saturday I got to sleep in.  I repeat, I got to sleep in!  And sleep in I did!  Until 11am!!  And it was glorious!!!!!  I woke up still feeling exhausted but it was nice to not have anything to do and to get a full night's rest.  Upon waking, we lounged around for a bit and then headed The Players Championship.

We had to leave the Championship before it was over for the day because I had agreed to help a co-worker out and speak at her event.  We headed there, I got up, winged it as I always do, hung out for a bit, and then headed home for more cuddling and DVR-clearing.

Sunday was Mommy's Day and I woke up to a beautiful flower arrangement and two cards from my pups.  They picked out some pretty fitting cards and even got me gift cards to my favorite places!!!  They must have heard my wish of a day of relaxation and told Nick because he decided to forego The Players Championship and we just lounged around at home.  I did some reading, some blogging, some free lance work, and some puppy snuggling.  It was perfect!

Sadly my FaceTime wouldn't work so I didn't get to see my Mommy but we talked on the phone while she opened her gift..and cried when she did so.  But I wouldn't expect anything less from her. (I revealed her gift yesterday).

And now it's Sunday evening (look at me, blogging in advance and scheduling posts!) and we're watching golf while Nick cooks us a delicious dinner consisting of his homemade fries, per my request :)

 Did you all have a fun a weekend??


I also wanted to give a "Happy Belated Military Spouse Appreciation Day" to all my fellow ladies out there!  Honestly, when I hear about this day, I don't think about my husband showing me appreciation as much as I'm reminded how much I appreciate all the amazing women who've been there for me to offer advice from moving, to house hunting, to learning our new cities, etc.  They're there for ladies nights full of wine and laughs and they make being away from family actually enjoyable!  Some of these woman have become best friends and second family to me and I am so grateful to have them, even if we are all scattered all over the country.  I love you and appreciate you all!!!

MSAD 2013

A lot of you might be saying, "What the crap is MSAD?"  I'm lazy so I'll only type this once; it stands for Military Spouse Appreciation Day, which occurs every year on the Friday before Mother's Day.

This is only my second "official" MSAD seeing as we've only been married just shy of two years. But previous to our wedding, Nick would still send me a sappy email about how even though we weren't married, he still appreciated the sacrifices and support I provided him.

Yesterday morning, I woke up early and found a card awaiting me on the kitchen table.  I opened it up and inside was of course a sweet message from Nick along with a Starbucks giftcard!!!!!  Now, this might not seem like a big deal, but it's HUGE!  Nick despises Starbuck's.  I mean, he hates coffee (anything even remotely coffee scented or flavored...even a mocha candle!), but he truly hates Starbuck's because he thinks they charge WAY too much for their drinks.  And I agree....they are pretty expensive when you think about how little you're actually getting for that amount ("I could get a 24 pack of Mountain Dew for what you pay for one drink").  But the sad truth is, there's just not an alternative.  I definitely cannot make frapps as great as theirs (which is what I order 95% of the time).  And there are no other coffee places around here, except gas stations, which are not anything to brag about.  That being said, I don't get Starbucks often because when I do, I hear his voice and see my medical/student loan debt and then I'm overcome with guilt.  "If I add up all these coffees, that's a monthly payment."  (Not to mention, I try to not have coffee more than three times a month.)
So anyway, all that to say him getting me a giftcard to a place he LOATHES means a LOT!

When Nick got home from work that evening, he offered to make dinner.  (Thankfully this wasn't just a MSAD thing.  Nick makes dinners for us about 50% of the time.  I just got lucky like that.)  After dinner, we watched the Cardinals game and he played with my hair AND scratched my back!!!  I don't know about you all, but those are two of my absolute favorite things!!!!  Again, he does these things often but this night, I got it for a good solid hour!!!!

After dinner, Nick took me out for dessert and drinks!!  And unbeknownst to us, it was 2 for 1!!!  As always, we had great conversations and I just love talking about our exciting future!  I still get butterflies and all giddy just as I did when we were dating and we first began talking about possibly getting married and having a forever together.

I feel blessed that Nick remembers this day and does something to make it special.  But I feel blessed that I married a man who constantly appreciates me.  Almost daily, Nicholas will tell me how much appreciates all that I do for him and the support I provide.  He truly understands that while I'm loving this life with him, it's incredibly difficult for me to be away from my family and friends.  He understands the struggle with nursing school and that I've had to delay that next step for my professional future.  He understands my concern and worry with not having my doctors just down the road.  He understands the hardships associated with finding employment.  He recognizes all the little things I do for him, our dogs, and our house so that it's one less thing for him to worry and stress about, spend time doing, or occupying his mind when he's flying.  He knows I do these things to make his demanding and exhausting career easier and worth it.
I know I am incredibly lucky to have a man who not only recognizes these things, but thanks me daily for them.  Sure, today I got a gift for it, and I'm grateful for that.  But every other day, I get his random from-behind-hugs while I'm doing dishes, his random pull-you-off-the-couch embraces, his random forehead kisses, etc accompanied by a "Do you know how much I Love you?" and "Thank you for everything you do for me and our family."  Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me such a loving, caring, and appreciative man.
The thing is, I don't do these things for the praise. I do them simply because I Love him.  I'm proud of him.  And I love our life together.  I'm dedicated to making this life as easy and as best as it can be.  He works so hard to support us and I want to do all I can to show HIM how much I appreciate his hard work and dedication to our family and our country.


And now, I'd like to wish a VERY Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day (okay, so I typed it twice) to all my fellow wives (and fiances, girlfriends/boyfriends, and husbands) out there!
Some of you have become my best friends and you make this crazy life not only bearable, but enjoyable!!!!!  You've helped me turn an unknown town into home; a place I've come to love and will be sad to leave.  Others of you, some I've never met, (yet someday hope to), have offered support and advice on anything and everything, been there for me during the rough times, and prayed for me in my times of need.  I feel blessed to call you all friends because you are by far some of the strongest, most dedicated, resilient, and independent women I know.  It's most definitely not an easy life, but you all handle it with such ease and grace that civilians might wonder why some complain about it!  I hope you all know how special you are and that your support and love to not only your spouses and families is appreciated, but your friendship is appreciated as well!!!!



I'm just one month shy of being a two year Navy Wife.  While I do not define myself solely as a "Navy Wife", I am damn proud to be one!!!
When Nick and I began dating, I was hesitant to take the jump and fully commit to him.  I kept saying "I don't want to marry a military man and live that lifestyle."  (Thank goodness for my best friend, Jessie.  Had it not been for her knocking some sense into me, I would have lost the best thing to ever happen to me!)  I finally decided to take a risk, knowing this life would be far from easy.  I wish I could report I was wrong, but I was right.  This life has been difficult at times.  It's never easy to leave a family that you're ridiculously close with, the best friends on earth, a city you adore, and a job you love.  I left the only life I knew behind to start a new (and somewhat scary) one with Nicholas, in a whole new city where I knew no one.  In just these two short years, I've come to love this lifestyle.  Sure, I miss my family and friends, St. Louis, and my old job, but I no longer cry when I think of them.  Committing to Nicholas was most definitely the absolute best risk I've ever taken!
The experiences I've had, the places I've lived, the amazing people I've met, and the knowledge I've gained have made this all worth it.  My marriage has grown stronger than I ever imagined possible and we have a Love and friendship I did not know could truly exist.  Although I did not think it was possible the day we left St. Louis in a moving truck, I can honestly say there are an infinite amount of positives to this lifestyle.  My pros now outweigh the cons.  Both of them have made me a better person and I cannot imagine my life any differently.  I know we'll hit bumps here and there, and things will test my strength, our marriage, and my faith, but with Nicholas and my amazing military wives, I know I can overcome anything the Navy throws our way!  Our journey is far from over, and I look forward to seeing where our next chapter will be!!!!

My 1st Military Spouse Appreciation Day

I received this in an email today:

"...They Who Wait Also Serve.' We all know that when sailors go to sea, the challenges at home continue, and our military spouses bear the burden each day in support of their loved ones and in service to their nation. We thank our husbands and wives for their constant patience and steadfast understanding as they often face challenges at home or celebrate life events without us. Though they may not wear the uniform, it is their honor, courage, and commitment that sustain us."
- Admiral J. W. Greenert
Chief of Naval Operations

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  It's a day to recognize those strong spouses of military members.
This is my first official MSAD.  In the past, Nick has always made sure to thank me for everything I did for him.  Because to him (and me), it's not just the spouses that need recognition.  Girlfriends and fiances put up with a lot of crap too and I feel they should also be appreciated on this day.

Some people get so worked up over this day.  In a Facebook group, a woman actually said "If your husband isn't currently deployed, I don't feel you need appreciation today."  Talk about a jaded wife!  One of her friends, if she has any, should buy her a bottle of wine and a vibrator.

My husband is not deployed and I am very thankful for that.  I know we are lucky because I do get to see him everyday.  I might not get much interaction one some days, but I get to sleep beside him every night.  Others are not as fortunate.
Despite my husband being deployed, I do feel I am entitled to some appreciation.  Not much.  Just a simple "thank you".  It's really all it takes.  I love when my husband recognizes the things I have to deal with or the sacrifices I've made.  Yes, I willingly do them because I love him but it's always nice to have it recognized once in a while.

I've now been a "Navy Wife" for 11 months (exactly!).  In these 11 months I've had to do one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I moved far away from my family, friends, and the only life I knew.  There is no way to describe how incredibly close I am with my family, especially my mother.  This alone made moving away very hard.  I cried...a LOT on the drive from St. Louis to Annapolis.  I cried 50% of the nights we lived in Annapolis (9 weeks).  It was very, very difficult for me.

I left my friends and had to make all new ones.  I wasn't even sure how to do that!  I hadn't HAD to make new friends since 1st grade when I came to a new school.  How do you "make friends" at the age of 26?! The last time I did this I simply said "Want to come over to my house and play?"  If I tried that line now, I'd be pegged as the "Creeper Wife" and I'd be sure to have zero friends.  {Advice, I have found that "Want to come to my house and drink some wine" works rather well ;) }

I left a job that I loved, working with people I loved.  I came to Pensacola, Florida where the job market is pretty much non-existent.  A place where employers only want to hire "local graduates".  A beach town looking for employment from high schoolers, not "over-qualified" (which is bullcrap) people like me.  Because of this, my self-worth has taken a drastic spiraling plummet downward.

I'm having to put off nursing school for lack of programs close to me.  Having to put off my dream career for my husband, because he can't control where we go or how long we stay.  We're having to discuss how to make this dream happen, which inevitably means we're going to have a long distance marriage.  (Which we're okay with, but it's not our ideal situation.)

Moving away from my doctors.  Might not seem like a big deal but with all the complications and ongoing issues...with the rarity and severity of my case, I felt 100% comfortable having all my doctors in one place.  Just a short drive away if anything happened.  Now I'm in a place with doctors who don't know me, don't know my history, don't know what my insides look like now, don't know where to look for things, don't even know what my cancer was or have ever heard of it.  It's an incredibly unsettling feeling.

I moved from a city where there are always lots of things to do, lots of things going on, lots of things to see, .....to Pensacola, Florida.  Don't get me wrong, the beaches are amazing.  But that's about it.  It's a LOT different than home.  The people are nice but it's not my hometown.  I was uprooted from the only life I knew, the only place I really knew to a completely different place 12 hours from my "old life".

Leaving my family and friends.  Leaving my job to not be able to find a new one.  Putting off nursing school.  Those three things alone are enough to feel I've "done" something to be appreciated.
No, I have not gone through a deployment.  No, I have not had to be a single mother with a part-time husband.  I cannot imagine how difficult a deployment is.  Especially once you have children. I have a HUGE amount of respect for those women and their families.
But us children-less wives have gone through our own fair share of hardships.

I get frustrated with the day to day life we lead.  I know it could be worse.  I know Nick could be deployed.  I'm thankful he's not.  But that doesn't mean I'm 100% happy with how life is.
I hate not being able to plan anything.
I'd love to spend a day at the beach with my husband...just us.  I'd love to have a date night out to the movies or to dinner.  I'd love to work on house projects with him.
But because of how flight school is, nothing can be planned until after 7pm the night before.  His schedule is put out at "5pm".....realistically it's not until 7pm.  Only then does he know what his "tomorrow" looks like.
Plans are always tentative.
"If I don't have a sim to prepare for...."
"If I don't have something to study for..."
Some days we do get lucky and he'll have a day free.
But I've learned to not get my hopes up.  Things change.  A lot.  It's better to expect to do nothing with him and be surprised and happy when it works in our favor than to tentatively plan something, get excited for it, and then have it ruined by the Navy.  I'll spare myself the emotions, thanks.

It's always frustrating to have your husband in the house but not be able to talk to him.  Nick spends most of his time in the house studying.  If you know me at all, you know I loooooove to talk.  And since Nick is my best friend and husband, he's the one I want to talk to most.  But I can't.  Because he has hours and hours of studying and preparing to do.  I find myself thinking "Oh, remember to tell/ask him ______."  But when I finally get the chance at dinner or when he calls the next day during a break, I forget.  I keep telling myself to buy a small notepad to write it all down in.  But when I think "Oh I want to tell/ask Nick _____ but can't.  You should write it down, Melanie." I automatically get pissed and think "I don't want to write it down!  I hate that I have to write down what I want to say to my husband when he's in the next room!"  ...I know, I'm being a baby.  But it's annoying.  I hate that the Navy dictates almost every aspect of my life, especially mundane things like when I can have a conversation with my husband.  (Something is always more frustrating when it's RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU yet you can't "have" it.)

ANYWAY......
the point is, I've sacrificed things I haven't wanted to but did so because I love Nicholas and I want a life with him.  Even if it is this life.  Don't get me wrong, this life is not all negatives as I'm making it out to be.  There are a lot of positives...but all the small positives are hard to combat the magnitude of the negative of being away from loved ones and my "old life".

I am thankful I have a husband who recognizes and appreciates the sacrifices I've made.  He knows I struggle with being away from "home".  He will randomly come behind me while I'm doing the dishes, wrap his arms around me, and thank me for everything I do for him (dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc) because he knows that I LOATHE being a housewife.  He will thank randomly thank me for giving up almost everything to marry him and move to wherever the heck the Navy sends us.  He thanks me for respecting and not being (too) whiny about him always being gone or studying when he's home.
When he gets free time, he's more than willing to do something I want to do to show his gratitude.

So back to Military Spouse Appreciation Day....
This afternoon, Nick had to run to the store to get some supplies he needed while studying.  When he returned, he had a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers in a vase and a card with a sweet note inside telling me how much he appreciate all I have done and all I do and how much he loves me.  How he wouldn't be where he is without me by his side through it all.  It meant so much to me.

Then later than evening, he told me he was taking me out to dinner to celebrate this day as well.  We don't go out too often as we're trying to be smart with our money and pay down some medical and student loan debt.  But he felt this was necessary.  And who am I to turn down a large glass of my favorite sangria and my favorite pasta dish?  So I happily obliged =)

Then we came home, cuddled up on the couch, and watched our Cardinals...one of our favorite things to do together.

It was a simple day but that's all I needed =)

I hope the rest of you wives (and husbands) know how appreciated you are and I hope you all had a great day!!!

I'd like to end this with a poem I've read many times, and have seen plastered all over Facebook today:

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.

But I am in the military, in the ranks that are rarely seen.

I have no rank upon my shoulders.

Salutes I do not give, 

But the military world is the place where I live.

I am not in the chain of command, orders I do not get,

But my husband does this I can no forget.

I am not the one who fires the weapon,

Who puts my life on the line,

But my job is just as tough, I am the one that is left behind.

My husband is a patriot, a brave and pride filled man.

And the call to serve his country not all understands.

Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.

My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.

I love the man I married.  Soldiering is his life,

But I stand among the SILENT RANKS known as the Military Wife.