Pregnancy Update: Week 25

How far along?  25 weeks

Baby size?  a head of cauliflower; somewhere between 13.6-14.8 inches long and weighing around 2 pounds!!!

Baby progress?  Baby Obie is becoming much more viable, as his lungs are developing more strongly.  His hair is thickening and now has a color!!  (I can't wait to see if he actually has hair on his head, what color it is, and what color it'll be when he's older!)  Little Man's nostrils are starting to open and the air sacs in his lungs are continuing to develop.  Since he's now producing surfactant (the substance that helps his lungs inflate) it means that (God forbid) I went into preterm labor, he could probably survive the premature birth.  (That's a huge sigh of relief, but of course, I want him to cook much longer!).  He now has a sense of balance and can tell which way is up and down (which he'll use to, hopefully, rotate himself into the correct position to get ready for birth).  

Weight gain?  Maybe 8ish pounds??  (I will know better during my 27th week update because that is the next time I go to the doctor.

Stretch marks?  Still none!

Sleep?  Becoming difficult to get sleep.  I'm not super comfortable, but the reason I have trouble sleeping is the same as last week.  Stress and anxiety from my job.  Which really sucks that I'm letting it get to me, but I can't seem to not stress about it.  I'm well into busy season and each day is more stressful and difficult than the last!

Symptoms?  Other than the same ones as last week (back and tailbone pain being the main ones), I now have bleeding gums.  This is really common.  People have been asking me this entire pregnancy if my gums bleed so I guess I'm lucky that it didn't occur until this point.  I already use Sensodyne (yep, old people toothpaste) because chemo made my gums and teeth incredibly sensitive so I don't know that there's much more I can do for the bleeding gums aside from proper teeth hygiene, which I do.  This week, my belly has also started becoming more tight.  Not contractions, but some days, it feels very tight all day long.  Not just my skin (which also feels crazy tight) but the entire belly.  And I don't like this feeling at all :(

Maternity clothes?  Still just jeans and dress pants for work, the few I bought while at home, and still squeezing into some of my old clothes.  But those are dwindling.  

Cravings?  Zoe's Kitchen Chicken Salad.  They have the best chicken salad ever!!  When it comes to chicken salad, I like it simple.  Don't put shit in it.  No nuts, grapes, huge chunks of celery, etc.  

Movement?  Tons.  And strong.  I'm now able to easily see him moving from the outside.  Here, take a look!

Workouts & Activity?  Still none!  Although we did go to the zoo, and I lasted the entire time!!! So that was a good activity, even though it was just walking all day.  But it's more than I usually do and it took a LOT out of me!  (Thankfully my husband gave me almost an hour long massage that evening.)

How are you feeling?  Still feeling great!!!!!

Best moment this week?  My husband coming home with these...in the same day!

He stopped by Dunkin Donuts on his way home with a variety of strawberry and chocolate sprinkle iced, glazed, and brownie batter filled!!!!!  And as if that wasn't great enough, our Girl Scout cookie order came in!!!!!!  

Worst moment this week?   Getting my sweet tooth back, because clearly all that sugar is not healthy for baby.  And it's getting harder for me to have some discipline when it comes to sweets...like those pictured above!

What do you miss?  Sleep.  But again, that's not due to pregnancy as much as my job.

Things that suck?   Fitting into my own clothes.  My shirts don't really fit anymore, which is why Nick's wardrobe has now become my wardrobe

Things that don't suck?  Due to my insomnia, I'm getting caught up on all the shows I've missed the last few weeks (and months) due to working 12-14 hour days.  Always gotta find that silver lining, right? ;)

Looking forward to?  Seeing him again!!  We've scheduled a 3D/4D ultrasound session and I cannot wait!!!  Only two more weeks!

I don't normally post bare belly photos but I've yet to do so.  A few people (mainly family and my closest friends) have asked for those (usually in text messages) so I have finally grown the balls (ha!  kind of funny since "I" am growing balls inside of me.  Technically Baby Obie is, but still lol).  As I was saying, I've finally grown the balls to share one with you.  I've been struggling, like, greatly struggling with how I look like, naked, while pregnant.  I KNOW it's a baby in there and that's why I'm so big, but I'm still not on that "omg I love my body!" train that some women are on when they're pregnant.  I've promised myself I would start working on this and stop being so negative.  And thus, a step in that is sharing a bare belly photo with you.  Probably the last one you'll get though.  So enjoy!

(Can you see the scar on my arm that I attempted to hide with concealer and bronzer??  Here I am preaching that I need to accept my body and I'm covering up scars with makeup.  There was no luck for that bullet hole looking scar on my belly :(  That poor scar is getting deeper as my belly grows, which is so weird!  (That scar is from the feeding tube I had in 2006 just after my surgery).)

Pregnancy Update: Week 24

How far along?  24 weeks

Baby size?  Cantaloupe; between 10.5-11.8 inches and weighing somewhere around 20 ounces.

Baby progress?  Baby Obie's milestones seem to be slowing down now but his skin is much more opaque and almost has a pink glow due to the capillaries that have started forming.  His lungs now produce a substance (surfactant) that will make them inflate when he has to breathe on his own.  He also gained a quarter of a pound in bones, muscle, and fat this past week!  Which means he's starting to fill out and look more and more like a little human!!!!  His eyelashes, hair, and eyebrow hairs are all coming in, but it's white because it lacks pigment still.  Those little ears and fingernails are now complete!!!

Weight gain?  Again, I'm not too sure.  I would say between 6-8 pounds now

Stretch marks?  None!  

Sleep?  It's not really there, but that's not because of Baby Obie.  My sleep is gone due to the stress and anxiety of my job.  I cannot seem to find a way to shut my brain off.

Symptoms?
Nothing new.  Lower back pain, upper back pain, tailbone pain, painful pooping, insane acid reflux.  

Maternity clothes?  While I was home, I ended up buying some new tops.  Some were maternity tops I found on the clearance rack and others were in the junior section, but that had that rouched side that most pregnancy tops have so it works for me.  The best part, they were only $6.99 each!!!!!!  And that wasn't even on sale.  Just regular price.  They're just plain colored shirts, but that's perfect to pair under my sweaters, blazers, cardigans, or with my jeans or maxi skirts on the weekends.  Slap a scarf or a statement necklace over it and we're golden!  I actually should have bought more so I'm going to send my mom some money and ask her to get me more.  

Cravings?  Nothing.  There really is nothing I'm wanting.  

Movement?  Kicking and punching like a mad man!  Whomever said they're movements become more fluid-like around week 22 was a liar.  His movements seems quick, karate type jolts!  I wish more than anything I could just click an "on" button and magically be able to watch him anytime I wanted.  I seriously feel like there's some extreme kickboxing going on in there.  It's not painful (yet) so I don't necessarily mind (except when I'm trying to sleep) but it's just like "what are you doing?!"

Workouts & Activity?  Still none.  I am getting lots of exercise in with my job; all the in and out of the car, running all over the office, and all the walking.  But no set activities and exercises.  

How are you feeling?  Overall, great!  Some days or some moments are a little rough (like when my head is in the toilet and I'm puking up bile from my acid reflux) but overall, I can't really complain!  I know this could be much, much worse.  

Best moment this week?  There were a few.  The first was my baby shower :)  Hands down.  It was more than I could ask for.  My sister did an amazing job planning it all and the decorations were perfect!  My aunts, cousins, mom, and grandma helped to set up and execute the entire thing and it was just perfect.  I can't wait to share the details of it.  This little baby is so blessed and so loved, as am I, and I cannot thank my family enough for everything. 
The second was my family getting to see me pregnant.  The last time they saw me, I was only 11 weeks pregnant and there wasn't much there other than ginormous boobs (my little A cups had grown to a C by then) and a little bump that more resembled some pudge (but was really just bloat).  But this trip, I had a visible bump (I wore the dress they all saw me in at the shower in this week's photos).  They were all so excited to see me and it was a great feeling to get to share this with them instead of sending them the random bump photos.  My brothers even came in town so it was great to see them!
The third best moment (you can have more than one best!) was my family getting to feel Baby Obie kick and punch.  I was worried no one would get to feel him and it made me so upset.  For some reason, he was very, very calm this trip home.  I was actually worried.  I felt him at the Atlanta airport on my layover to St. Louis on Thursday, but I didn't feel him move again until Saturday night!!!!!  Thank goodness he did!!!  Unfortunately, that meant that my aunts, cousins, and friends didn't get to feel him at the shower.  But my mom, dad, two brothers, sister, and grandma all got to feel him!!!!  Saturday and Sunday night, Little Man was kicking and my family was able to feel him.  And I was so happy to share that with them.  Baby Obie must take after his daddy; shy at first but eventually he'll open up and "talk", or in this case, kick, to say hello :)

Worst moment this week?   Saying goodbye to my family.  It was hard because this was really the only time my family will get to take part in this pregnancy.  While it's exciting to think that the next I see them, I will be a mom and I will have a baby in my arms, it's still upsetting.  It's always hard to leave my family, but this was so difficult.  I was able to hold it together when I said goodbye to Grandma, Dad, and my siblings.  But when my mom and I said goodbye before walking through security, I couldn't hold it in.  I cried through security and then when I sat down at my gate, I was still crying and it just intensified.  People were staring, but I didn't even care.  It was just so hard to leave.  I want nothing more to be living in St. Louis with my family and having them be a physical, active part of this pregnancy and Little Man's life.  

What do you miss?  My family.  It's been hard to be back here in Florida without them.  It doesn't help that my husband isn't home much, so I feel really alone right now.  It sucks to be experiencing something so exciting, but feel like you're experiencing most of it alone :(  

Things that suck?    Putting on shoes and wearing heels.  I will still wear heels but not often at all.  I used to wear heels almost every workday and now, I will only wear them once a week.  On the weekends, I'm finding myself not picking cute heels when Nick and I go out.  I hate it.  I love heels but my back just can't handle it anymore.  It's also just so hard to put shoes on.  It's becoming difficult (definitely uncomfortable, sometimes painful) to bend over and put shoes on.  Which is why I'm opting for flats most often.  I use my feet to push them off the shoe rack, use my feet to flip them over (if they land upside down), and then just slip my feet in.  Easy peasy!

Things that don't suck?  My esophagus working.  I don't really know what it is, but this pregnancy has helped my esophagus.  Typically, food will get stuck every day, multiple times a day, causing me to have to dislodge it.  But since being pregnant, I've only had to dislodge food maybe 10 times!!!!  That's a huge improvement because it used to be about 10 times a week!  Food still get stuck, but it seems to be moving much more easily now.

Looking forward to?  Using all this baby stuff!!!  It's kind of a tease to have all this adorable stuff and tiny outfits and not be able to use them.  I just want him here!!

Pregnancy Update: Week 23

This is WAY late since I just entered my 25th week.  I apologize.  But I took these, worked a crazy week, went home, worked another crazy week.  So tomorrow you'll probably get my 24 week update and then again sometime this week my 25th week update.  I promise not to make this mistake and bombard you with these updates more than once a week.  

I also wanted to apologize for the wonky 2 and 3 in "23' as well as the crooked frame.  I didn't realize I didn't have it up straight until I uploaded these to my laptop.  Sorry!!!

How far along?  23 weeks

Baby size?  Grapefruit, measuring 10.5-11.8 inches long and weighs between 12.7 and 20.8 ounces.  

Baby progress?  His little face is now fully formed (I can't wait to see what he looks like!)  and he has nipples (which I found to be an odd development growth they noted, but I guess they have to develop at some point haha).  His hearing is great now and he's listening to everything!  Some of his kicks might even be in response to things he hears (time to start ending the foul language, but I'm not sure if Nick is capable of it).  Baby Obie is busy putting on some fat (which probably isn't hard with the things I eat!).  His skin is still transparent and maybe a little red due to the developing veins and arteries under his skin but soon that fat will cover it all and his skin will become perfect looking!  

Weight gain?  I don't know now.  Apparently our scale is off.  I was shocked because I thought I gained 12 pounds, which was double last week, but the next day, it was like 5 less.  I doubt I'm carrying that much extra water.  I mean, I could be, but I feel like I'd notice swelling somewhere and thus far, I haven't swelled at all.  

Stretch marks?  None, thank goodness.

Belly Button, in or out?  It's very much still in.  I had a very deep belly button to begin with, so I feel when and if it pops out or becomes flush with my belly, it will be quite a while from now.  It might be getting shallower, but I think only I would notice that.  

Sleep?  I'm becoming restless again, but not badly.  I'm still getting a decent amount of sleep these days.  

Symptoms?-  No nausea.  I'm almost out of the second trimester which means I've made it the first two without it!
- My back pain is increasing and there's not a lot I can do about it.  I can't lift anymore due to my crazy heart and that would alleviate my upper back pain.  My tailbone is also hurting a lot.  I spent the entire weekend this week in bed, crying, because I get no relief.  Laying flat on my back eases my back pain, but hurts my tailbone.  Laying on my side helps my tailbone but aggravates my back.  It's a lose-lose.  I shall be visiting chiropractor soon though!  I seriously sent my husband to game night with our friends while I stayed home alone, crying in bed because standing or sitting for more than 15 minutes had me in tears.  I felt like such a loser.
-  Acid reflux has reached an all-time high.  It was pretty miserable before I was pregnant and now it's beyond unbearable.  I cry often and throw up at least once a day from it.  My doctor said unfortunately there's nothing I can take.  I'm on the highest dose of medication a human should take and it's more than she's ever allowed a pregnant woman to take.  (But given the severity of it and the risks of esophageal cancer, she doesn't want to lessen my dose.  This is decision she came to with talking to many other specialists).  So I'm just learning to deal with it.  
-  Emotional.  They said the hormones get better in the second trimester.  Ummmm, not for this girl!  I'm a mess!

Maternity clothes?  Still just my maternity jeans and dress pants, but I'm wearing my normal tops.  Although, my selection is getting limited because this belly is growing but I'm making due.  I really don't want to buy many new tops because I WILL get back down to my pre-pregnancy size and then those clothes won't be used again until the next baby bump occurs.  

Cravings?  Pancakes, waffles, and french toast still.  So maybe I crave syrup??  But that craving is dissipating 

Movement?  He's an incredibly active little boy!  Which the doctor says means he's healthy.  But on the days when he decides to sleep a lot, it makes me nervous that something is wrong.  "Your momma paranoia is setting in already."  Puhlease.  I've been a paranoid person all my life so of course it's rolling over into pregnancy and being a mama.  

Workouts & Activity?  Not any real workouts, but I'm slowly learning to function through my crazy racing heart.  I can now tell when I'm about to get tunnel vision and approach the "I'm going to pass out" phase, so I know when to stop, sit/squat and rest.  It's working pretty well to make my work week more manageable.  

How are you feeling?  You'd think I would tell you I'm not feeling all that great due to my reflux and back/tailbone pain, but honestly, I feel great.  I think because I've dealt with something much worse, I'm able to say I'm feeling great.  I don't hate being pregnant.  (Check back with me when I'm double or triple this size and I might feel differently.)
Best moment this week?  Being on the cruise with my husband.  I was afraid I'd talk too much about work or we'd talk too much baby but it was perfect!!!  We really just relaxed and enjoyed ourselves.  I didn't talk about work once, and we only talked about the baby half the time.  It was great!  

Worst moment this week?  I can't really think of any??  I guess that laying in bed all weekend and skipping game night.

What do you miss?  Sitting comfortably.  Having a fulltime (+ lots of overtime, well without the overtime pay) job, it's frustrating because I'm either sitting at my desk, sitting in my car, sitting in a meeting somewhere, or standing giving a presentation.  My tailbone and back are always hurting.  I just wish I were able to lay down every so often and relieve some of the pain and discomfort.

Things that suck?    The stress of working becoming worse and the pressure increasing since I'm due during busy season and right in the midst of my events.  It's not really fair, but I guess that's just the way it is.  

Things that don't suck?  Seeing my belly move.  I can now see the little jumps and kicks from the outside and it's so cool and always makes me smile.  

Looking forward to?  Seeing him again.  We haven't had an ultrasound since week 12 and I'm dying to see him again!!!!!!!  As of now, we won't get another one until around week 35, but we're probably going to do one of those 3D/4D ultrasounds.  I have loved seeing my friends images from those sessions because it truly does look like their baby!  I mean, it's insane to see their baby when it's born and compare the photos!  I want to know what he looks like.  Does he have hair?  Does he have that cute little baby button nose?  Does he have those adorable pouty lips?  This little man is so active and I'm always wanting to see what he's doing because he's so active so here's my chance before things get too cramped in there and he can't really move around as easily.  

Yadi has been really great during my photo shoots.  She lays down at my feet the entire time.  But this time, she kept creeping in to them and wanted to be involved in these baby bump photos.

World Cancer Day - Make a Difference

Today is World Cancer Day.

Almost 9 years ago, I heard the words "You have cancer" and my life has never been the same.
There are no words to express how blessed I am to still be on this earth.  The odds were not in my favor, and even my own doctors didn't think I'd make it.  It was the worst year of my life, and there were times I wanted to give up and die because the pain was so bad.  Thankfully, I had an amazing support system that didn't let that happen.  They carried me on those weak days and were my smile when I seemed to have forgotten how.

Unfortunately, not everyone else is as lucky.  Not everyone's story ends in success.  In August 2013, I lost my grandpa to cancer.  My world was turned upside down and some days, many days, I still feel lost as I try to navigate through life without his advice, hugs, and jokes.
Since my first clear scan in November 2006, I've often been struck with survivor's guilt.  That feeling has intensified as I watch my own family suffer the loss of Grandpa.  It plagues me when one my cancer friends lose their battle.  What made me so fortunate, when no one thought I would, to have won my battle with cancer?  I'm no better than the others.  And Lord knows I'm no better than Grandpa (few people are better than that man).

I try not to think about cancer but it's impossible.  I still suffer from complications that remind me, at least once an hour, every single day, of what I've been through.  

As the days draw closer to February 14th, I get anxious thinking about that day.  It's been 9 years and the memories of that day, and those that followed, haunt me.  They make me anxious, sick to my stomach, upset and angry.  I'm filled with feelings of "why me?" and "why us?".  Why was I chosen to get cancer?  Even though it's gone, why do I still have to take medication and suffer through the complications?  Why am I still at a high risk for another cancer?  Why did my family, especially my parents and siblings, have to watch me go through that?  Why do my parents have to live in the fear of their daughter relapsing and worrying over any illness?   Why does my husband still have to watch me endure the pain and discomfort on a daily basis?

At the same time, I'm filled with feelings of graciousness, direction, and passion.  I am so grateful I'm still here.  I'm grateful that I've had more birthdays, Christmases, 4th of Julys, and family vacations.  I'm grateful that I met my husband through my battle.  I'm grateful that cancer did not, as they said it very well could have, rob me of (biological) motherhood and that, for the most part, I am carrying this little miracle son complication free.  

I have direction in what I should be doing in life.  I do that every day in my career as I work for a local cancer nonprofit and get to touch the lives of survivors and their families and fight back against the disease every day.  I found my passion in life; to help others.  I'm a 'mentor' and 'angel' on various internet support groups.  I share my story and help other young adult women go through what I went through.  I even help family members who aren't sure what to do or say for their loved one battling cancer.

Leiomyosarcoma brought so much negativity to my life and still continues to on a daily basis.  But I'm also reminded, daily, of the good it's brought me.  There really is beauty from pain if you look for it.

Today, on World Cancer Day, I encourage you to fight back or raise awareness.  Schedule a doctor's appointment if you haven't been in over a year (remember, I was incredibly healthy and the last person the doctors would suspect of cancer and it happened to me).  Encourage your loved ones to schedule their mammogram or colonoscopy.  Give blood (I've had a total of 7 blood transfusions and each one saved my life).   Put down those cigarettes.  Call a survivor and treat them to lunch or dinner.  Join a fundraiser (my favorite is Relay For Life).  Volunteer to be a Road to Recovery driver.  Volunteer at the hospital (the volunteers were some of my favorite people during my chemo days).  If you own a company, donate some of your funds or services to a cancer organization.  Gather a group of friends and offer to make dinner at a Hope Lodge if you have one in your area.
 Cancer affects almost everyone, in some way, whether you realize it or not.  Get out there and help. 

Today, I'm celebrating my life as well as the lives of those currently fighting cancer and those who have won their battle. Today, I'm remembering those who lost their battle, such as Grandpa. 

Now go hug a survivor!

Pregnancy Update: Week 22

How far along?  22 weeks

Baby size?  Papaya; about 11.5 inches long and weighs a whole pound now!!!!

Baby progress?  Baby is now working physical abilities and motor skills by practicing movement by touching anything he can. (Explains all the movement!!!).  He also has a sense of balance now that his inner ear is developed and his pancreas is now busy creating it's own hormones (which helps alleviate my hormone burden).  His eyes are perfectly formed but his iris lacks pigment so technically he has no eye color yet. 

Weight gain? About 6 pounds now.  Which makes me feel super fat since last week was 4.5 pounds but the doctor wants me to gain a pound a week for a total of 35 pounds, so technically I'm behind schedule.  Want a little bit of honesty hour?  I'm struggling with the way my body looks.  Not my belly, because that's the baby and I know that.  But I'm struggling with other areas such as my back and legs.  They've lost definition since I'm not only putting on weight due to baby, but because I'm not active anymore.  I try not to be that self-conscious girl but I totally am right now :(

Stretch marks?  Still none, but I'm worried they will start to appear since my belly is growing much more rapidly now. (and because my apps say this is when they start to appear.  Stay tuned to see if next week I have a sad report of them).

Sleep?  On the cruise, I slept really well.  But other than that, I'm awake until 3am-4:30am.  I know, I know "Get used to it because once he's here you won't ever sleep again."  (Why do women feel the need to be so freaking negative when it comes to pregnancy?  Especially when the person didn't even ASK for input on it???)  But the difference when and if that does happen, is that when I'm sleep-deprived that day, I'll be in my pajamas, no makeup, lounging around at home or maybe running errands.  But now?  I have to get up early, work a 12 hour day with no break, while looking professional and attempting to hide my dark circles and bags under my eye, and look awake while presenting to the Chamber of Commerce, or leading a group meeting, or recruiting sponsors in businesses.  There's a really big difference there so while I won't enjoy being sleep-deprived when he arrives, I think it'll be easier then because Baby Obie won't care if I'm looking rough as hell.

Symptoms?
Still no morning sickness.  Haven't had one bit of nausea this entire pregnancy.
My back is starting to hurt more.  I'm sure it's a combination of the growing belly, the extra weight of the belly, the extra weight of my chest, and my scoliosis.
I still have energy but still can't use it.  But maybe soon I'l hear from my cardiologist.
My boobs are apparently not done growing.  I thought I was a 32D, but when I got all my swimming suits in the mail just before going on the cruise, I realized they were a little small.  I exchanged for 32DD and sure enough, those fit.  (Although even some of those appear to not contain them well).

Tail bone pain.  Holy crap!  I seriously feel like I fell and cracked or bruised my tail bone.  Even the couch hurts.  I just can't sit on my ass anymore without having such pain!!!!!  What causes this?!  This weekend I will be heading to the store to buy one of those maternity wedge pillows a few have recommended to me. 

Maternity clothes?  Yep.  But only pants.  As I mentioned before, the belly band does nothing for me.  It doesn't work at all.  So my old pants are completely out of the question (with the exception of yoga pants).  I was able to find some fairly affordable dress pants for work at Motherhood Maternity for only $45 and they even come in long!  Thank goodness otherwise I wouldn't be able to hear heels anymore.  And I finally found maternity jeans that don't give me saggy crotch.  Jessica Simpson!  Thank you, Jessica!  I only bought one pair.  I don't want to buy anything else.  I am just hoping to buy tops a little bit larger and not buy strict maternity tops.  As of now, I'm just living in the limited oversized tops I have.  The struggle is that I embraced my thin body before I was pregnant and usually only wore tighter fitting clothes.  But being itty bitty with A cup boobs, and now having a belly and DD cup boobs, my old clothes just aren't cutting it anymore!

Cravings?  Still French toast, waffles, and pancakes.  That's really it! But I'm not giving in to them anymore.  I allow them for breakfast but now only once a week as a snack.  (I'll admit it's because I'm really paranoid about my appearance).

Movement?  This kid is always moving.  More so at night.  Between 9:30pm-10:30pm he starts kicking and continues for a long time.  Which is why I have issues sleeping.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE feeling his movements, but I wish I was able to sleep through it.  This week I'm able to see most of his movements from the outside of my belly and Nick is able to feel him daily now.  He loves to lay in bed next to me, hand on my belly, and just feel him kicking away.  

There are also times I suddenly feel an insane pressure on my belly.  When I push in that spot, it's as hard as a rock and the other side of my belly is a little squishier.  I don't know if it's his head, butt, or what, but Little Man is shoving something large into my stomach with a lot of force!!!

Workouts & Activity?  Nope, but I should get some answers this week!  (Even though I thought that last week)

How are you feeling?  Pregnancy wise?  Freaking great!!!!  I'm really loving being pregnant (for the most part).  Non-pregnancy wise?  Downright freaking horrible.  The busy season of my job is definitely upon me and I'm beyond stressed.  I'm anxious all the time over my job and what I have to accomplish.  Sometimes having a job you care so much about and being a perfectionist are a curse.  I'm trying to not let it get to me because that amount of stress is not healthy for me or Little Monster Pants, but it's difficult.

Best moment this week?  Feeling less than great about my body when I was in a swimming suit but having strangers compliment my butt.  I might have lost my six pack, but I haven't lost this booty!  When WOMEN randomly compliment your ass (women who you think have far better butts than you) and ask for your workout routine, you know they are being genuine.  I've been feeling like it's looking less than great since all exercises have stopped but I've apparently still got it :)

I'd also have to say the other best moment this week was being away with my husband.  We had zero communication with the outside world.  Just us.  And it was so incredibly blissful.  I wish we could take those kinds of trips much more often.  

Worst moment this week?  Realizing you don't really fit in your sundresses.  I thought ahead and bought new bathing suits but just assumed my sundresses would be okay since they're not tight.  Which was right, but the belly wasn't the issue.  My chest was beyond inappropriate in 9 of my 11 sundresses.  Looks like I need to restock the closet here soon.  

See?  My old clothes aren't fitting me anymore.  My sweaters stick off my body and my boobs are a little too out there for my liking.

What do you miss?  Feeling confident.  Not that I was overly confident before, but now that I'm very far from confident in my body, I realize just how great my body was before.  I mean, I have days where I don't even want Nick to see me naked.  I will go into the bathroom, shut and lock the door to change or to lather my Bio Oil on.  I hate everything I put on and never feel cute.   Which really sucks since I'm only 22 weeks along and have a lot longer to go and obviously still have a lot more growing to do.  I'm going to try really hard to work on being more comfortable and confident in my pregnant body.  

I also miss laying on my stomach.  I like to lay on my tummy while I read or journal but I can't do that anymore.  It's too painful :(

Things that suck?   Being so exhausted that you don't want to cook anything but knowing you can't stop for fast food or eat cereal for dinner because you have a little human who is depending on you to keep him healthy.  And why does it seem that those overly exhausted nights are the nights my husband isn't home???  

Things that don't suck?   "Communicating" with my son.  Although I hate that his kicks and punches keep me up at night, I do love feeling his movements.  I especially love when he stops, and I poke my belly, he punches back.  

Looking forward to?  Starting on the nursery!!!  This weekend we're going to decide on the wall colors and get some paint samples and begin the process!!!!

Randoms:

My mother informed me that my boobs were the topic of my Grandma's Bible Study group.  Afterwards, they all sit around and talk and my filterless Grandma brought them up.  Thanks, Grandma!!! 

Baby shower gifts are starting to arrive and it gets me so so so excited!!!!  Thankfully some guests are shipping the larger items which will help out tremendously!!  I'm taking home an extra empty suitcase to fill with as much as I can but the large items will have to be shipped back to Florida.   Now, I just want him to arrive so I can put all these things to use!!!

Pregnancy Update: 21 Weeks

Y'all, I am over halfway through this pregnancy!  I now have more weeks under my belt.  21 weeks down, and only 19 to go!!!  That's insane to me!!!

How far along?  21 weeks

Baby size?  Pomegranate (although one of my apps says a baby bok choy.  Ummm...that's an odd one to choose but okay!).  Baby is measuring about 10.5 inches long and weighs about 12.7 ounces.  

Baby progress?  This little guy is making poop!  Gross but true.  He also has super wrinkly skin that will eventually smooth and expand as he gets more fat on him.  Kind of a low development week I guess!

Weight gain? 4.5 pounds.  It seems I'm gaining about a pound a week.  If I keep up at this rate, I'll have added 23.5 pounds, which is a little less than they'd like me to gain but I'm sure I'll start adding more as the weeks get closer!

Stretch marks?  Still none, and I'm thankful since my belly is definitely growing much more rapidly these days.  

Sleep?  It's a give and take.  Some days I'm tired enough and can fall asleep by midnight.  Other nights, I'm up until about 3am.  It's not that I'm uncomfortable because I'm still very comfortable laying in bed, but I'm just not tired!  

Symptoms?
Still no morning sickness.  Which means I've made it over halfway through this pregnancy without a lick of nausea.
I feel like my peeing as slowed down a little bit.  It's definitely decreased at night.  Right now, I'm only going twice a night and one of those is usually around 5am.  
My legs still itch, but not too badly.
The painful pooping has continued.  No amount of stool softeners or excess fiber helps.  It's just a symptom I've come to accept.  (Want the know the crappy thing (pun completely intended).  I'm pooping at least 4 times a day, which my doctor said means I'm eating well and my digestive system is working great, but it sucks for me having to deal with pain poops that often.)
I having a lot more round ligament pain, but it's not awful.  It's usually worse at the end of the day, especially my 12 hour work days. 
I still have energy but I can't use it.  Thankfully this week I get my Holter monitor and I'll hopefully get some answers and solutions to my heart and no activity restrictions.    

Cravings?  Waffles, pancakes, and French toast.  Or maybe it's syrup I crave??  But I want them all the time.  I'm actually eating far too many.  I got tired of making batter and spending the time making them so I decided to buy a giant box of Eggo waffles.  Much simpler and surprisingly, so freaking delicious.  I'm so lazy and with how often I eat them, this is the best solution.  How often do I eat them, you ask?  Well, in a 24 hour period I had consumed 9 of them.  Here's what a normal day looks like (mind you, my appetite has increased).  Wake up and eat 3 Eggos for breakfast.  Go to work.  If I come home at a normal hour of 6pm, I eat 2 for a snack.  Then about an hour after dinner, I usually eat 2 of them.  Then I will eat 2-3 more before bed.  That's 8-9 Eggos in a day.  And you know, what?  I'm not even ashamed!!!!

Movement?  Oh yes!  This little guy is very active.  He must be bored in there because he's always moving.  I was told they sleep 14 hours a day in the womb.  Not this kid!  I hope that's not any indication of how he'll be once he's born otherwise I'm never sleeping again.  But for now, I'm really enjoying his movements.  I love it!!!!  I love that I can poke him and he kicks back.  It's adorable.  I'm sure I'll change my mind once he's using my lungs as a punching bag.  So I will soak it all in right now.

Workouts & Activity?  Nope, but I should get some answers this week!

How are you feeling?  Amazing!  I am just loving this kid more and more everyday.  Overall, I can't really complain.  Sure, I'm not sleeping, acid reflux is horrendous, my heart goes crazy, and I feel like a blob, but I honestly can't complain too much.  He is worth all of this!

Best moment this week?  Actually, Nick finally felt him for the first time!!!!!  Baby Obie was kicking pretty hard every 60-90 seconds or so.  I called Nick in the bedroom and had him lay his hand on my belly.  He waited about 45 seconds and then Baby kicked.  Nick's eyes got big and I asked, "Did you feel that?"  Nick had a smile on his face as he responded, "Yes!  Was that him?" 

Worst moment this week? 

What do you miss?  Non-charred burgers.  Having to get my meat well done sucks.  When Nick cooks burgers at home, he's able to cook it well done, without burning it.  Yet when I order a burger at a restaurant, it's always charred and crunchy.  I hate it :(  I just want a normal burger! It really ruins it when that's what I'm craving.  

Things that suck?  Having limited pants to wear.  The belly band doesn't work so I'm stuck with maternity pants, but I really don't want to drop a lot of money on them since I won't be wearing them at much more.  I get frustrated every morning when it's time to get dressed.  

Things that don't suck?   Being obviously pregnant now and strangers complimentary how "cute" I am or telling me I'm the "perfect" pregnant lady.  It really helps on those "blah" days.  

Looking forward to?  Our cruise this week!  While it's Nick's 30th birthday gift to me, we're also viewing it as our babymoon since we won't be able to take one, even a tiny weekend getaway, due to my job's busy season from February through June (which is past my due date).  I cannot wait to board that cruise ship with him, lock my phone away in a safe, and be completely detached from the world for 5 days!  Oh my goodness, hurry up!!!!!

I'm finding myself taking belly photos for my family and best friends so I think I'll start sharing my random pregnancy photos at the end of this post as well:

 Pretty soon those feet are going to disappear!!!
And how adorable is Vino cuddling with her brother?!

Also, it must be noted that my t-shirts are now a little snug.  They aren't comfortable anymore as they have to stretch over my belly.  Look at that taughtness!  This is why I'm starting to wear Nick's shirts.

The stripped shirt and t-shirt was me at exactly 21 weeks.
The ones of me in the blue above were taken at 21 weeks, 1 day.

Baby is growing!!!!!

Weekend Recap: Friends, Dogs, Date Night, Furniture, and Baby Moving!

Happy Tuesday!!!!  Today is my Monday, but also my Thursday because I had yesterday off work for MLK Day and tomorrow is my last day of work for the week.  Holla!!!  (Do people still say that???)

I'm here today to give you one of those weekend recaps, but this is going to be a photo heavy post.  People really only care about photos anyway, right?  So let's jump right in to this random, pointless blog post!

Friday evening started off great as my husband walked in the door holding this box of donuts.  Let me tell you, this man knows his pregnant wife well!  Husband award right here for not only thinking of me, but for getting Dunkin even though he prefers Krispy Kreme.  (I prefer KK glazed, but Dunkin iced donuts.  And as you can see, I couldn't hold off on eating one before snapping a photo.
Then Nick made dinner while I sat on my tush and watched.  He even did the dishes as he went along which he normally doesn't do!!!  It was a great and relaxing Friday for me for sure!!!

Saturday morning, we lounged around awaiting our new furniture.  We ordered a new couch for the living room.  We also ordered a china cabinet and hutch but we're not using it for china.  We're using it as our bar.  Call us lushes, but it is what it is.  We have far more barware than we know what to do with and we have an abundance of liquor.  On Black Friday we got an awesome deal on the two pieces of furniture so we jumped on it and had to wait what seemed like forever to get them in!

That is the before and after.  Let me also let you know that Nick set up this entire bar.  I will be making it look much more attractive and appealing.  But I didn't want to leave you hanging without a photo.  So you get's Nick's set up.  We'll call this the before and trial photo.  Stay tuned for the final after photo.

Likewise, this was our living room as awaited the new couch.  I couldn't help Nick move the couches this go around so they sat here until a friend came over to help move them upstairs to the loft.  We love the new couch! (it's not positioned in the bottom photo; it doesn't overhang the wall as it appears there).  It's so comfy and gives us a little more seating.  I can't wait to get our tables build, buy decor, and hang curtains now!  This place is finally coming together!  About time since we only have 4 months until Baby Obie arrives!

This weekend, I also took quite a few belly photos.  I feel like it's really out there now.  No hiding this preggo belly!  Vino even got some cuddles in with her brother.  

My belly is growing so much in fact, that my t-shirts are a little snug and stretch uncomfortably.    And this is why I have begun wearing Nick's shirts.  Size small t-shirts just aren't cutting it anymore!

Saturday night we had some friends over for game night.  We played Settlers of Catan (we bought the game and expansion pack over Christmas), Telestrations, and ate far too much food.  I also sipped on some non-alcoholic wine and pretended it was the real thing.  (Only 19 more weeks!)

Sunday late morning, we had a dog party.  Three of our neighbors brought over their dogs and we spent the next hour and a half wearing them out.  It was awesome to see three Vizslas together since they're not all that common.  Below you'll see a little game of Vizsla keep-away, led by Cayenne, followed by Riley and Vino)

As if the dogs weren't spoiled enough with the doggie playdate, I finally got Nick to agree to let the old couch, now moved to the loft, to be the one piece of furniture the dogs are allowed on.  I finally get to cuddle with my dogs somewhere else besides the floor!  Vino was all about it.  We didn't have to ask her twice to get up there.  Yadi, however, had to be pulled on the couch.  But most the time, not matter how much "come" we say, she refuses to get on the couch.  She might like to test her limits most days, but she really is a great dog that knows the rules. 

Sunday night, we had date night in and made dinner together (Mongolian beef with carrots, broccoli, green beans, onions, and red peppers over rice) and cuddled up on the new couch watching a movie.  Of course, picky ass Nick had to pick out everything except the beef and green beans.
This couch, because of it's giant ottoman when pushed in the corner, creates the perfect scenario for the ultimate cuddle session!  We watched "When the Game Stands Tall" and I really enjoyed it!

Monday, we woke up around 10am and oh.em.gee it felt so good to get that much sleep.  Little man was doing some serious gymnastics and Nick was able to feel him.  In fact, Baby Obie was kicking up a storm for 45 minutes straight.  We just laid in bed for those 45 minutes, Nick's hand on my belly, feeling this little guy having a blast in there.  I love being able to share this with Nick.  It's crazy to me that just one week ago, his kicks weren't hard enough for Nick to feel them and now not only can Nick feel them, but we can see our hands move from his strong kicks!

We took the lazy route the rest of the day and laid on the couch watching "Jersey Boys" (thank you Red Box for one buy, get one free!).  During the show, our attention whore Weim was so frustrated that we wouldn't pay attention to her, so she began throwing her ball at us.  And it landed right in our popcorn bowl.  Well, I guess we're done with that.  Thanks a lot asshole.

We ended the night with some cleaning.  And by we, I mean Nick because I can only work for 5 minutes at a time before my body tells me to sit down.

Also, being a homeowner sucks at times.  Saturday, I opened the dishwasher, apparently Hulk style, and pulled the dishwasher from the cabinets.  Not much, just at the top.  But anytime you opened it and pulled the drawers out, the entire thing tilted out of the cabinets.  Nick wasn't too happy with me so last night, he pulled the entire thing out, diagnosed what the hell happened (which was just lazy installation) and then fixed it.  Thank goodness for a handy husband!!!!

And then I ended the night in bed, reading about my 21st week of pregnancy, while watching Fresh Prince, making a to-do list for work.

Speaking of work, did I mention that I only have two days of work this week??? Because I do!  Thursday, I will be on a cruise ship with my husband, headed to the Bahamas!!!!!!!