Survivors: A Unique Community

Sunday was National Cancer Survivors Day and quite a few people text me, tagged me in Facebook or Instagram posts and it just made my heart all warm and fuzzy.  I'm proud to be a survivor and proud to know so many others.  This community isn't necessarily one you want to be a part of, but there's also nothing else like it.

VIA

Survivor =  anyone who has ever heard the words "You have cancer", regardless of their condition, prognosis, progress in treatment, currently with disease or in remission.  

I've made some amazing friendships through my cancer battle.  I've connected with some of the strongest people I've ever met.  They helped me through my dark times and they're still there when I'm experiencing scanxiety and most recently in my relapse scares.  I would not be here without their guidance and {virtual} shoulder to lean on.  They validated my feelings, made me feel as normal as possible, gave me hope, and inspired me.  I could never thank them enough for all they've done and continue to do.

They are the reason I now reach out to others.  It's a simple thing society calls "paying it forward".  I take my experiences and use them to help others.  I do what others did for me.  I tell them about my story and what to expect with chemo, radiation, scans.  We talk about all the fears, emotions, ailments, etc. that come along with cancer and it's treatments.  We talk about caregiver support.  We talk about those that left our lives because it got too tough or those are that just being nosy.  We share in each other joys and struggles.  Nothing warms my heart more than to get those texts that say "You inspire me"  or "I was having a rough day, but remembered what you said and how hard you fought.  I was able to turn my day around.  Thank you." or "I woke up and just started crying.  At first, I yelled at myself but I remembered our conversation. I cried for a while, dried my tears, then started my day.  Thank you."  {I've asked these people if I could quote them, without revealing their identity and got the okay from them.}

I might not do a lot right in my life.  I'm far from perfect, but I know I do right by helping others.  Texting a survivor at 2am because she's scared and in pain.  Spending an entire afternoon on the phone to talk to someone who just feels like it's too much.  Spending my day fighting cancer at my job and spending my evenings writing blog posts for other foundations and organizations, texting and emailing with other young adults just needing an ear, etc.  I dedicate my life to helping those, and their families, battling cancer.  And I love every minute of it.  There are difficult times, like when someone you have been close with relapses, or worse, you learn they lost their battle.  It breaks my heart to hear some of them say "I want to give up."  I understand, because I've been there and uttered those same words.  It's normal, but it still breaks my heart.

I love my space here on the internet.  My little place in blogland to write about whatever I want.  A lot of it is about cancer.  I've been on both sides as a patient and as a caregiver.  Both are very difficult roles.  I try to take every experience, the good and bad, and turn it into a blog post.  Whether that be by my advice or just documenting my thoughts and experience so others can relate.  If at the end of each post, just one person says "Thank you", that's all I need.  I know that I'm doing good and I'm proud of the role I've taken on to help others.  It can be a huge burden and weighs heavy on my heart some days, but I truly love what I do...at my paid job but also in my free time.

I have been working on my cancer blog for a while, trying to revamp it.  I removed a lot of my blog posts from 2006 when I was battling cancer.  Some, a lot, are very dark and raw.  I removed them because I was embarrassed I felt that way.  I removed them because they are difficult to read.  But those are the posts I needed in my bad days.  They validated my feelings and I knew I wasn't alone.  I'm working to get them posted again but it's a slow process.  I'm also working to update each link, add photos, and proof-read my current posts.
While I do write here, the cancer blog is solely dedicated to my cancer journey and everything that could possibly relate. I am redoing the blog design, as well as updating all the pages with my (detailed) story, side effects, etc.  I am no expert, but I can offer what advice I have and what has worked for me or others I know.

Here are some of the posts you can expect to see in the future, on this blog but also on my cancer blog (it will be a slow process so be patient).  For those not interested in these posts, don't worry, this won't become a cancer-focused blog.  I will not post cancer/medical related things more than once a week, if that.
+  A Day In the Life of a Chemo Patient
+  A Day In The Life of a Radiation Patient
     (Before I began both radiation and chemo, I wanted to know exactly what to expect.  How did the process go down?  What were my side effects?  How did I feel?  Did it hurt?   Could you feel anything? etc).

+  What To Bring To Treatment

+  What To Say and Do For Someone Battling Cancer  (I am constantly emailed by people asking what they can say or do to helped a loved one who is battling cancer or undergoing treatment)

+  Life After Cancer

+  The Importance of a Caregiver

+  My Biggest Cancer Kicking Advice

+  Gifts To Give Chemo Patients  (another question I am asked a lot is, 'I want to get them something but I have no idea because I haven't been in their position'.)

+  Things Cancer Taught Me

+  Ways to Support a Cancer Survivor

+  Survivors Guilt

+  Your New Normal

+  What's the Difference Between Radiation and Chemotherapy


There are many more in the works in addition to these and I'm really looking forward to getting it all out there and helping even more people.

To all of my fellow survivors, Happy {Belated} National Cancer Survivor's Day!!!  You are all so inspirational and I am happy to call you my friends :)

Do you have any ideas for topics?  Any questions you've ever wanted answered by a cancer survivor?  Do you know someone battling cancer and have a question?  Please feel free to comment with any topic ideas you have or anything you'd like clarification or more details about and I'd happy to do so.  If you're not comfortable leaving a public comment, please feel free to email me by using the email address located at the top of my "About Me" page.  

Sisters Love and Goodbyes

Why can't weekends be longer? Two days just isn't enough. Especially when they're spent visiting family.


A few days ago, Nicholas and I randomly decided we were going to go visit my sister, Leah, and her fiancé, Kyle.
It was bittersweet because this is the last time we'll see them before they move. (They move mid-June and our weekends are booked until then. Hence why we decided to go this weekend). I was spoiled having my sister only two hours away the two years we were in Pensacola. And now with us in Jax, they're only five hours away. Being away from my family is so incredibly hard for me, but having them close made it a little easier. 
But now, I won't have that. They're moving back to the Midwest. Kyle is being stationed at Ft. Riley in Kansas. They'll now be like every other family member whom we only see a few times a year. And I hate that.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful I've had her so close the past few years. We weren't always close when we were little (read: we hated each other) but when we entered our teenage years, we grew closer. Our three year difference didn't seem so drastic, and I stopped viewing her as that annoying little sister and instead as a best friend. And we've only grow closer over the years.

It doesn't hurt that our husbands have this weird bromance going on. They love sports, the St. Louis Cardinals, geek out all night long on video games, and they're both helicopter pilots (Kyle is an apache pilot in the Army.)

It was also bittersweet because while our girls had a blast, it'll be the last time they get to play like this for a very long time. Maybe ever.   Leah and Kyle have two female dogs and they're all four the best of friends. Yadi and Vino do not play and wrestle with anyone else like they do these two. It's adorable, comical, and sometimes annoying with the nonstop movement. But now, they'll only see each other at Christmas and my parents house is not as accommodating without a fenced yard for these four morons to run around together. Nonetheless, they were happy to see each other and had a blast. I mean, this was Yadi when she realized where we were going. Despite not being to their house since September, when we were about a mile away, she shot up and completely freaked out because she knew where she was and who she was about to see. 


We spent the weekend just hanging out and having fun. Leah and I ventured out Saturday for lunch at Cactus Flower, one of my favorite restaurants back in Florida.  When I heard she had one in Dothan, Alabama, I was all over it. 

After lunch, we headed to various stores to shop for decor for her wedding reception and also bridal shower necessities. (Her wedding is back home in St. Louis in November and I'm the MOH).  And I couldn't come to Dothan and not get Gigi's Cupcakes!  Seriously, look at this amazingness!!!

These were our selections:  Chocolate Turtle, Red Velvet, Triple Chocolate Torte, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough!!!


Upon arriving home, we grilled out and then headed to the drive-in theater. I haven't done this since I was single digit age. But it was only $7 for TWO movies!!! How can you beat that?? So we headed there, with Nick pimping out, braving the storms, and saw first "A Million Ways to Die in the West" followed by "Neighbors". Both were a bit of a letdown. But it was a great experience!!!

Sunday was just a day to lounge around, make more definite plans for Leah's shower, and take some photos. They wanted family photos but Zoey was more interested in hunting for cats so it didn't go over well. I then took some of them in front of their house, their first house together. And some normal photos that clearly didn't turn out too normal.

And then they began being their normal weird selves and I continued to take photos

And I took a photographer as an excuse to some of us instead of timer and wireless remote photos. We got a few decent ones.

Then we said goodbye and it sucked. I'll see them both in June when I go home, which happens to be when they'll be stopping by for a few days on their way to Kansas. But it's sad knowing they aren't a short drive away, and these fun weekends with just the four of us, (six including the girls), won't exist anymore. I've greatly appreciated them the past few years but damn! I'm upset they've come to an end. Missing family is seriously the hardest part of this damn lifestyle.  I'm going to try to focus on the fact that I HAVE an amazing sister to miss so much and that she's found an equally amazing guy that we truly consider a brother.  All I have to say, Thank goodness for technology!!!!!


What did you all spend your weekends doing?  Anyone take a little weekend getaway as well?
For those that live away from family, how to cope best with the distance and homesickness??