Sibling Weekend

This was the last one...well the last one with me as a Dickens.

This was my last weekend before the big wedding.  The next two weekends I will be in Annapolis and then it's WEDDING WEEKEND.

Things have been very stressful.  I've started to get very emotional lately.  I hate thinking about leaving my family and friends behind.  I've been crying more often...mainly at night in my bed, while driving, or in the shower....so essentially all the times I'm alone. 

So anyway, with how emotional and stressed I've been with everything I need to do from now until we move, I wanted a relaxing weekend.  So I decided one last weekend with my siblings was just what I needed!

On Friday, Little Leah and I went to Columbia.  We of course had to go to Wal-Mart and had fun there as always =)  We spent the rest of the night just sitting around talking and laughing.  Saturday we headed to my other "brother" 's daughter's musical "Seussical".  It was so cute and she did so well!  She has a beautiful voice!  Afterwards we grabbed lunch, then went back to hang out at the house.  That night, we went to Trops....mmmmmm I miss Trops (for all you non-Columbians, it's Tropical Liquors and it's alcoholic slushies...the best EVER!)  My brother's work friends that we hear so much about joined us and it was nice to finally meet them and another good friend, Amber and her boy came! We ended the night at Jazz, a Louisiana style restaurant and then headed home where another friend of my brothers came over and we all hung out some more.  Sunday was more just hanging out before heading home for more wedding tasks!

It was a great weekend... very much so what I needed.  I love my siblings to death.  They are truly my best friends and I have so much fun with them. I am going to miss them so much....so much so that it hurts just thinking about it.  BUT I know I am so blessed.  I am blessed to have such wonderful siblings....blood and non-blood.  Ben and Leah are the best siblings I could ever ask for.  We've always been VERY close and as the years pass, we only become closer.  They have been there for me through soooo much.  Through things no siblings should have to go through.  They've seen me in a state no sibling should have to see another.  I hate that they've had to go through that.  I hate that my siblings have those memories of me.  BUT I'm happy that BECAUSE OF THEM, I'm still here to give them many more happy memories.  I'm so blessed to have siblings that love me beyond unconditionally.  Blessed to have siblings I can laugh hours straight with.  Blessed to have siblings I can tell anything too...whether it's confiding in them or giving them some TMI (my signature trait lol).  Blessed to have siblings that support me in EVERTHING...even a relationship that will move me far, far away from them.  Blessed to have siblings who love Nick as a brother.  I'm BEYOND blessed.

I don't fear our closeness changing.  If anything, I think this distance is going to make us much closer.  I know I'm going to call them all the time.  I'll probably talk to my brother more when I move than I do now.  (He lives two hours away so I only see him every few weeks.)  I talk to my sister all the time now because we live in the same house but I know we'll be calling each other all the time. 

I'm not worried about losing what we have.  My sadness stems from not physically seeing them.  Not being able to celebrate every holiday (the big ones or small ones), not here for every birthday, not here for anything my family gets together for.  We get together a lot and I know I'll miss a lot of them.  I just wish I could find that money tree so I could fly them out to me and I could home as often as I want.  

I think back to when I moved home from college.  My brother came over to my apartment to take some things I didn't want anymore.  We stood outside talking for a long time...prolonging the goodbye.  He finally said, "Well I need to get home."  Then he said, "It's going to be so weird...not having you here.  Not hanging out all the time.  Not having you just 10 minutes away.  I don't like this."  I agreed.  But we hugged, said I love you, and parted.  I went inside and cried.  Hard.  Very, very hard.  Uncontrollable sobbing.  For a long two hours.  And I was only moving two hours away. 

I don't want to say goodbye.  I know I have to.  But I don't want to go through that again...but this time with my ENTIRE family.  And all my friends.  Oh boy am I going to be a mess.

But I don't want to focus on that.  I don't want to really think about that sadness until the day of goodbyes has come.  For now, I'm focusing on how much fun I had this weekend and how blessed I am.  Not only for Ben and Leah, but for Randy and Josh as well.  So I'm ending this on that positive note.  The positive note of having the most amazing siblings a girl could ask for.