First Valentine's Day as Husband & Wife {2012}

As most of you know, I am not a fan of February 14th.  If you don't know, I had my horrendous surgery and was diagnosed on that day.
I'm sure 99% of you reading this are thinking "So what, you're in remission now."
Well, it's more than just a "so what" moment to me.
It's easy for you to say, "Forget about it.  Makes new memories.  Enjoy the love you have.  Don't remember the bad stuff, remember the good.  Replace the bad memories with new ones."
I'm sorry but it's impossible.  If you truly understood what that day was like, the severity of my cancer, how terrible my battle and struggle were, and everything I still deal with, you'd understand.
You can't just "forget" such awful memories. You also can't "replace" them.  It's not a file on a computer that you just hit delete and it's gone forever.  Life doesn't work that way.  I can add good memories, but I can never forget the bad ones.
I get annoyed when people say these things but I have to remind myself they just don't understand.  Some say they have awful memories from February 14th and I say, "Well good for you that you're a robot and 'delete' memories and just 'forget' the past."  I'm not that way.  Plus, what does my hating February 14th and having bad memories/bad thoughts affect you?

Anyway, that's not the point of this post.  And there's no point wasting my breath because those who don't truly get it will probably still try to talk me out of remembering February 14, 2006 and all that followed.

Nick wasn't around during that year of my life.  He entered right after my last chemo treatment in October 2006.  So he doesn't fully understand either.  But ever since we started dated, he's made it a point to try to erase those memories (God bless his heart....so naive lol).
Our "first" Valentine's Day, we were only "dating" and not officially together (I was too stubborn) but he got me this adorable tiger...the one I STILL sleep with to this day.
All the years after he tried again to make them meaningful.  Even though we weren't together, he succeeded in bringing a smile to my face.  [Last year's {click HERE to read about it} was as perfect as it can get when you have 1000 miles between you.]

I'll be honest, I wasn't looking forward to this year's...more than I usually don't.  Nick is busy with API, we're super tight on money, and well, Nick made comments to lead me to believe I shouldn't expect anything.  I am NOT the type of girl that needs gifts.  I never have been.  If you are going to give me a gift, I refer something homemade or sentimental.  If it's store bought, there better be some sentimentality behind it.  [I am NOT a materialistic person, hate most name brand things, etc.]  What really matters to me is spending time together, especially given our history of only spending 20% of our relationship in the physical proximity of one another the past 4.5 pre-marriage years.
But Nick would be spending all day at school. I would be left alone with my thoughts. I figured Nick would get home, we'd eat dinner, he'd spend the rest of the night studying, while I laid in bed and watched a chick flick (not either of two of my favorites "A Walk to Remember" and "Sweet November".  Was it an omen that those were my favorite movies??)

But since Nick wants to celebrate the day, I don't "punish" him;  I "celebrate".  Since we're on a tight budget, I had to get creative.  I wanted to bake him something.  But Nick is pretty picky.  He isn't a huge chocolate fan.  He doesn't like icing so I usually stay clear of cakes.  Rice Krispie Treats are his absolute favorite dessert.  Seriously.  He'd prefer that over ANYTHING else!  But I didn't want to just make normal Rice Krispie Treats.  I had been at the store last night wondering what to do.  I saw a giant Hershey Kiss and wanted to give him a "big kiss" but knew he wouldn't eat it.  Then I got the idea to make him a giant Rice Krispie Treat disguised as a giant Hershey Kiss!
After he was sleeping I set to work.  I wanted at least one thing for him to wake up to. After baking, attempting to mold, then getting the brilliant idea to use a funnel to shape it, creating my own Kiss message on parchment paper, and wrapping it in foil, it was DONE!

I set it on top of his lunch box in the refrigerator so he would be sure to see it and take it for a snack =)

Then I wrote in his card, worked a little more on his other gifts, and it was off to bed!

**********

Yesterday I woke up when Nick's alarm went off and was up while he laid in bed and snoozed his next seventeen alarms (have I mentioned how annoying this is?)  He got up and after he let the two antsy-pants out of the bedroom, I was finally able to fall back asleep.

Next thing I know, the lights are on and Nick is saying "Wake up!  Happy Valentine's Day!"  I push the blankets off and he's holding our wooden tray and says "I made you breakfast in bed!"  I was shocked...100% shocked.  For a few reasons.
Reason Number 1:  Nick does NOT like to get up.  Ever.  Doesn't matter if he's had 5 hours or 17 hours of sleep.  He LOATHES waking up.  ANYONE who knows him will vouch that this kid is obsessed with sleep.  Today, he actually could have slept in.  For once in his entire Navy- career, he didn't need to be at school until like 8:45am (usually it's 7am).  He sacrificed his extra sleep time to wake up at his normal 5:30am time to make me breakfast!!!
Reason Number 2: Nick LOATHES eggs.  Not just eating them (they will make him vomit) but even the sight of them.  And he actually made me scrambled eggs!
Reason Number 3:  Nick doesn't do breakfast.  He never eats before he leaves the house.  Ever.  Because he never eats it, he has NO idea how to cook it.  I asked how he knew to make it, specifically the eggs, and he said he had to YouTube it!  LOL I was laughing so hard.  I can just picture him, laptop on the counter, pausing every so often to mimic their steps.  (He knew how to make hash browns because he LOVES those things.)

Regardless, I was impressed and incredibly appreciative!  These are the types of "gifts" I love.  The things that go above and beyond the norm.  They take effort, thought, and in his case, sacrifice (of his time and stomach.)
So I sat in bed and enjoyed my delicious breakfast.

Even though it was getting close to time for him to leave, he did the dishes!!!!  Even the hand-washed ones.  He didn't want to leave me with a mess =)

I woke up later and walked out and saw this sitting on the kitchen table.

Bear, card, and chocolates. Nick knows I only like TWO
types of chocolate....Godiva and Hershey.  He couldn't find any
Godiva but found this tin of Kisses and it's perfect!

Nick said he got this bear because it has "2012" on it
and it symbolized our "First Married Valentine's Day".
 I thought it was a super cute idea.

The day was a little rough.  I was alone with my thoughts.  I hated being alone but tried to get used to it because I knew Nick would be busy studying when he got home.  Luckily these two were super cuddly all day and made things a little bit more bearable!

Nick got home that evening, and I gave him his homemade gifts.  We each similarly addressed our cards which I thought was cute!

Then I showed him what else I had made for him, from the leftovers of the Giant Kiss

Heart-Shaped Rice Krispie Treats

Then Nick told me he was making dinner and I was banned from the kitchen.  For a while I was sitting in the living room.  Dinner smelled delicious. When I commented on it and started guessing, he banished me to the bedroom.
When he finally came to get me, the house was dark, except for 3 tiny heart-shaped candles on a heart shaped plate with little stones all around it!!!

He took my hand and led me out to the table, pulled out my chair, then pushed it in as I sat down.
I was so shocked at dinner.  Nick LOATHES Italian food.  And he absolutely despises cheese.  It's so sad because cheese is my absolute favorite thing ever.  [I add it to or on top of everything.  Cheese instantly makes anything 100 times more tasty!]  And alfredo sauce is my all time favorite.  But I never have it unless we go to a restaurant that has it =(  But tonight, Nick made Parmesan Chicken and Fettuccine Alfredo.  Two things that contain cheese....two things Nick does not like, especially the fettuccine alfredo!  But he made it because he knows I like it.  AND he even ate it!
Along with the dinner, he also had two glasses of Pinot Grigio poured for us.

[Of course LMS had to make sure I didn't 100% enjoy my evening with my Husband.  Had to make sure I remembered it.  I had to make two separate trips to the restroom during dinner, each episode lasting about 10 minutes.  My dear sweet husband... he wouldn't eat while I was in the restroom.  Even though his food ended up as cold as mine, he didn't care.  {But he does this every single day, not just on Valentine's Day.}  So that kind of put a damper on dinner.

After dinner, I took to the couch to watch some television, drink more wine, and share with my pups ;)

Yadi does not like any sort of alcohol...no liquor, no beer, no wine.  Vino, on the other hand, is true to her name.  She LOVES wine.  She can sniff it out.  If a glass is anywhere near reach, she's over there trying to get it in...or licking furiously from the outside as if it's a Tootsie Pop and she'll eventually make her way to the inside.
Then we each had a little cuddle time with our pups

Then it was study time for Nick, but he didn't end up studying too long.  Wine, well really any alcohol, makes him really sleepy.
So it was off to the bedroom for some cuddle time!


This Valentine's Day was perfect.  It's the little things.  Breakfast and dinner.  Those take time and effort.  Nick did something he doesn't normally do, and it was all for me.  Something a little more than the norm to show how much he Loves me.  I'm fortunate enough to have a Husband that does these little things for me more often than just on holidays.  THOSE are the types of things that mean the world to me.  These simple, small gestures are the things I love as "gifts".  I never have been and never will be a material girl.  Keep your Tiffany's, Michael Kors, Coach, etc.  I don't need or want those things (seriously, keep them...MK and Coach are just hideous wastes of money (in my opinion) and Tiffany's doesn't make anything that special!)

I know everyone says it, but I have the best husband ever.  Our first Valentine's Day as Husband and Wife was a great one.  Nick, nor anyone, will ever erase my bad memories of this day.  All I can ask is that he distracts my mind from it.  And he has done just that today =)  I am beyond blessed for the amazing man in my life.  The one who will do anything and everything for me.  I'm not sure how I got so lucky but I don't question it ;)  I'm so happy to have married my best friend.  I'm happy to know I have him to help distract me every February 14th from here on out!  I LOVE YOU, NICHOLAS!!!