But before I get into that, I want to tell you a little about Relay for Life and about my history and involvement in Relay.
Story of Relay for Life:
For those that don't know, Relay for Life is an fundraising event through the American Cancer Society. It is the most successful nonprofit fundraising event in the world!
It's an over-night event where teams of people set up a "campsite" around a track and walk laps around the track.
The months leading up to Relay for Life, teams participate in their own fundraising events to raise money. On the night of Relay, teams create additional ways to raise amongst other participants or the community that comes out for the event. Some sell baked goods, have activities for kids for a cheap price, sell t-shirts, jewelry, koozies, etc. Some teams have silent auctions on gift baskets or raffles for baskets. Some think of other creative ideas such as paying $2 to be pushed in a wheel-barrel for one lap. The possibilities are endless. The goal is to raise as much money as possible.
The night begins with the Survivors. They start the event with a Survivor Lap. Everyone else gathers around the track and claps and cheers them on. Following their lap, the rest of the participants join them in walking laps.
The point is for at least one member of each team to be walking at all times (hence the Relay part). (The exception is during the Luminaria Ceremony.)
Once night sets in, they hold a Luminaria service. You can purchase Luminarias "In Honor" or "In Memory" of someone. All the lights are turned off. The only light seen is the candle from inside each luminaria. A few stories or poems are read and then the names on every Luminaria are read. It's a very powerful and emotional part of the night.
There is also a Fight Back Ceremony. Someone usually speaks about the importance of fighting back and everyone is encouraged to make a personal commitment to fight back. It can be as simple as encouraging a family member to get a colon cancer screening or a mammogram. Making a vow to stop smoking. Engaging in more fundraising and advocating to help bring awareness to others. Anything.
Throughout the night, Relay for Life committee members keep things entertaining and busy. There are various fun events....Scavenger Hunts, Miss Relay (drag show), BINGO, obstacle course, games, bands playing, etc. Local businesses donate food so there is periodically free pizza, soda, ice cream, donuts, etc throughout the night.
It really is an amazing event. So fun and so powerful.
My Story:
I participated in my first Relay in April 2004, my freshman year of college. I joined a team with some co-workers of mine. At that time, cancer had not personally affected my life. (My paternal grandfather died of cancer before I was born. My paternal grandmother had it, but it's not what took her life. I don't even really remember her having it.) I simply had a passion for helping people. After this first one, I was so moved and knew Relay was something I wanted to continue to do each year.
The following year, I again joined a team with those same co-workers.
Sitting there, listening to the stories, crying because my heart ached for those affected by this horrible disease, I never, in a million years, would guess that cancer would soon rear it's ugly head in my life.
I never thought this awful disease would so closely affect me.
Just 9 months after that 2005 Relay, I heard the three most terrifying words. "You have cancer."
I couldn't wrap my brain around it. I had cancer? But I was 21! I participated in Relay and cheered on Survivors during their Survivor Lap. But they were all old! How could this happen to me? There had to be a mistake.
I cried. And cried. I kept repeating in my head "I don't want to die." I wasn't ready for this. How can one be ready for this? Didn't matter. Cancer didn't give a crap if you were ready for not.
The next few months moved by slowly. Painfully. I wanted to give up at times. Actually fought to give up.
Thank goodness for my mother. She fought to keep me smiling and positive. She refused to let me give up. She wouldn't agree to my demands of just letting me die. Yes, the rest of my family and friends fought for me too. But my mother...she took care of me. Emotionally and physically. She changed my dressings. Forced me to eat. Took me to and from appointments, radiation, chemotherapy. She took off who knows how many weeks of work. She struggled. I know she did. I know she wished more than anything she could take my pain during recovery from surgery. Yet she always appeared so composed and positive. But I knew she wasn't. What mother would be? I know she was struggling on the inside. She told me once "A mother shouldn't have to watch her kids deal with this. This is an old person's disease." I know she feared for my life. We all knew the severity of my cancer. We all knew the odds weren't in my favor. No one spoke of it but it was the elephant in the room. At all times. Sitting right there next to me.
2006
In April 2006, my brother told me that he and my sister (both living in Columbia...where my college was...where I was living before this all happened) along with my two best friends, Jessie and Candace, had created a team in my honor. Melzie's Warriors.
It was thrown together quickly considering I was diagnosed in mid-February and Relay is at the beginning of April.
I wanted to attend. We asked my surgeon and he said it was okay.
We made the 2 hour drive to Columbia (which was a painful ride with all the bumps). This was the first time I would be out of the house for something other than a doctor appointment. I was still in a lot of pain. I walked slowly. While I was now allowed to use my abdomen (after 12 weeks of no use and bedrest) moving around was still difficult.
I still had a feeding tube that I was to be hooked up to and "fed" for 10-12 hours a night.
But I was determined to be there.
And I was. It was a very emotional night. I cried a lot. We all cried a lot. The Luminaria Ceremony was too much. Hearing my name read was just too much. "In Honor of Melanie Dickens." We all lost it. It was then, that cancer started to really set in and become a reality for me. I knew I had cancer...but I didn't FEEL like it. I just felt like I had surgery and was recovering. Which is all that had happened at this point. Radiation was next on my list, followed by chemo, but that hadn't occurred yet.
I couldn't help but wonder if my treatment would work. Would I be in attendance next year? Or will they be reading "In Memory of Melanie Dickens." It was a thought I couldn't shake. At that very moment, there were too many unknowns. While my tumor was gone, I cancer cells floating around in my bloodstream...just trying to find a place to attach. My fate was unknown. And that scared me beyond words.
Anyway....Our team was so successful! We had a football signed by the Mizzou quarterback that was raffled off. We were very close with the members of the football team since we lived in the dorms with them our freshman year. They were all like big brothers to us. They came and we had a "Pie a Mizzou Football Player in the Face." The little kids loved it! Not only because it was fun, but because to them, these football players are celebrities!!! I cannot thank them enough for doing that, especially because it was so cold!!!!
We had such a great turn out. So many of our football player friends came. So many of my co-workers came. All my friends were there. My brothers' friends. It was truly amazing to see the support I had from everyone.
I lasted until about 1am. I couldn't do it anymore. I was shivering and my feeding tube hurt. I said goodbye and my mother and I headed back to my house. Upon returning home, we removed the dressing to clean and redress the feeding tube. It had started to pus and become infected. Despite how much pain and discomfort I was in, I felt truly blessed for the amazing people in my life.
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| Relay for Life 2006 My Family (Dad couldn't get off work) |
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| Relay for Life 2006 Some of my co-workers |
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| Relay for Life 2006 Brad Eckwereku (Mizzou football player) |
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| Relay for Life 2006 Greg Bracey (Mizzou football player) and a great friend |
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| Relay for Life 2006 My best friend, Jessie |
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| Relay for Life 2006 Brad being pied |
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| Relay for Life 2006 Matt, a co-worker, getting ready for Miss Relay |
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| Relay for Life 2006 Luminaria Ceremony |
2007
In 2007, I was back at school and became a Team Captain of Melzie's Warriors along with my 3 best friends. That year, we had the largest team with over 50 people signed up! We were voted the best campsite (done as a Mario Theme with matching t-shirts) and were even on the News! We raised the 2nd highest amount of money (behind a professor who had a lot of corporate sponsors lol). It was great to back to 100% involvement in Relay. To know I was here as a SURVIVOR! I had since received my first clear scan. I had kicked some cancer ass!
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| Relay for Life 2007 My Mother, (my Caregiver), and I walking in the Survivor Lap And yes, she's crying |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Our Mario-Themed Campsite |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Our Mario-Themed Campsite |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Our Mario-Themed Campsite |
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| Relay for Life 2007 My brothers and friends |
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| Relay for Life 2007 My best friend, Jessie (who took care of me during chemo!) |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Displaying one of my Luminarias |
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| Relay for Life 2007 My Luminarias |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Local News getting set-up |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Matt, second year in a row, participating in Miss Relay |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Just part of Melzie's Warriors =) |
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| Relay for Life 2007 My Best Friends |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Bracey returned again =) |
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| Relay for Life 2007 Spent a lot of time racing each other in here! |
2008
2008 was my last year participating in Mizzou's Relay as a student. I was graduating just one month after Relay. But this was the BEST year! I, along with my best friends, were on the Steering Committee for Relay. It was amazing to work all year long from the inside. Laying the ground work. Getting sponsors and businesses to donate. Along with being on the Committee, we were also Team Captains for Melzie's Warriors again. It was great to watch Relay and know we were an intricate part to making it all work!
This year, my mother and I were asked to cut the ribbon to begin the Survivor Lap. I was also interviewed on the local News about my story.
My mother spoke at the Fight Back Ceremony about her role as my Caregiver. I HIGHLY recommend watching her speech! She is not a public speaker and pretty introverted so this was a HUGE deal. And she did AWESOME!!! (I stood up with her for support...I knew she'd cry and need a hug to keep going.)
To watch it, CLICK HERE!
My grandparents also came up for this event!!!! Along with a few other family members and some friends who did not go Mizzou but traveled up for this event. It was just an amazing year to be SO involved!
AND Nick was able to come to this event!!!! I wasn't expecting them to approve his chit (special leave request) because he was just a plebe and well, I didn't think they'd see this as a big event. Not to mention he was coming home again just a month after for my college graduation but they allowed him to!!! WOOHOO!!
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| Relay for Life 2008 Mic on and ready for my interview! |
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| Relay for Life 2008Mom and I |
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| Relay for Life 2008Cutting the Ribbon to Begin the Survivor Lap |
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| Relay for Life 2008Leading the Survivors in the Survivor Lap |
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| Relay for Life 2008 My brothers |
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| Relay for Life 2008With my Love |
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| Relay for Life 2008Part of Melzie's Warriors |
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| Relay for Life 2008My Besties and College Roomies |
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| Relay for Life 2008Mom and her kids |
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| Relay for Life 2008 With my Grandparents |
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| Relay for Life 2008Grandparents & some of the Grandkids |
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| Relay for Life 2008Part of our team during the Luminaria Ceremony |
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| Relay for Life 2008We had to move inside because it was sleeting/freezing rain and only 25 degrees |
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| Relay for Life 2008Candace and Josh |
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| Relay for Life 2008Shawn won Miss Relay!!! ("winner" is who collects the most money pending their "performance") |
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| Relay for Life 2008With my other brother, Josh |
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| Relay for Life 2008More of Melzie's Warriors |
2009
In 2009, we ventured back to Columbia (my brother and cousin were still living there) and continued Melzie's Warriors. It was quite a change. I didn't feel as close to this Relay since I was no longer a student. And we didn't have a great turn out. It's as if I was two and a half years in remission and therefore I was "safe". A lot of friends lost interest in Relay. None made the effort to sacrifice their weekend to participate or help raise money. It was really upsetting. I was in remission because of people like Relayers who raise money for research and awareness. I wanted to keep this going. To pay it forward to others who would need the same care and support I needed. I'm thankful my family was still so passionate about Relay. But then again, it did affect and touch us the most.
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| Relay for Life 2009 My Family (minus Daddy again) |
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| Relay for Life 2009 My Siblings and I |
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| Relay for Life 2009Siblings and Cousin giving a big 'eff you' to cancer |
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| Relay for Life 2009Mom and I |
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| Relay for Life 2009Best Friend, Julie |
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| Relay for Life 2009My Luminaria |
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| Relay for Life 2009Luminarias lining the track |
2010
In 2010, we again traveled back to Columbia for Relay. Our team was thankfully larger this year compared to the previous year. My aunt and uncle came up for it. Nick was on Spring Break leave so he was able to be there. Unfortunately, one my brother's great friends, Rob, was affected by cancer. His sister was diagnosed and her struggle was not looking good. Rob, along with his niece and nephew (their mother is the one battling cancer) came from Kansas City to participate and walk in her honor. I'm so glad we were able to share this experience with them. Hopefully her children will continue to participate in Relays for years to come.
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| Relay for Life 2010 Mom & I walking in the Survivor Lap |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Some of Melzie's Warriors cheering us on during the Survivor Lap |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Mizzou representing! |
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| Relay for Life 2010 My Mother and I |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Some of my family <3 |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Rob with his niece and nephew |
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| Relay for Life 2010 My Siblings and I |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Rob & Ben Sumo Wrestling |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Nicholas & I |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Walking laps |
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| Relay for Life 2010 Walking Laps with my Love |
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| Relay for Life 2010 My Grandparents (I never met my Grandfather =( ) |
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| Relay for Life 2010 My Luminaria |
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| Relay for Life 2010 With my brothers |
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| Relay for Life 2010 During the Luminaria Ceremony |
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| Relay for Life 2010 My Luminaria |
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| Relay for Life 2010 During the Luminaria Ceremony |
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| Relay for Life 2010 My sister and I snoozing around 4am |
2011
Sadly, I did not participate in Relay for Life in 2011. That year was so crazy with Nick's Commissioning Week approaching in mid-May, then our wedding just two weeks later! We seriously considered it but knew we couldn't devote the time and effort to fundraising with all the wedding preparations we had to do. And it really upset me.
But it might have been for the best. It was upsetting that so many friends lost interest. No one wanted to put forth the effort to raise money and head up the team. No one wanted to take time out of their schedules and give up one weekend to do this. It was very upsetting. I wish I could get people to be just as involved as they once were. But like most things, it's easier to be involved when it's currently affecting you. Cancer didn't seem prominent in their life. And probably in mine. But it was. Very much so. Only my close family and friends knew how much it still affected me.
Yes, I was in remission. But sadly, cancer has created a lot of complications in my life. Eating is a difficult task. I have a heart condition from chemotherapy. And the list goes on. There are so many things that have changed and will never be the same. So many things I'm still dealing with. Cancer, while not the cells or tumors, are still very present in my life. I keep quiet about it most of the time. It's only those living with me that really see how much it still affects me. There's no point in whining daily about how much pain or discomfort I'm in or how upset I am. Positivity!!! That's the key!
2012
This year, 2012, I told Nick I wanted to participate. I knew we wouldn't have a Melzie's Warriors, but I wanted to participate in the Survivor Lap and walk around and donate some money. And that's exactly what we did. It was very emotional. I had to leave the Survivor Ceremony. It was...different. But that's a post for another day. So check back, hopefully tomorrow for more on last night's Relay.
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