Happy Mother's Day 2012

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, which also includes you soon-to-be Moms!!!

I hate not being home on this day.  My mother is most definitely the most amazing person I've ever met.  She is not only my mother but my best friend.
My mother has always been nothing but accepting, loving, and supportive.
She's kept me smiling when I just wanted to cry, kept me going when I wanted to give up, was my strength when I lost it all.  I think she's gone above and beyond her role as a mother.  No mother should have had to deal with what she did (or still does.)  Please read this old post to learn a little bit more about what I'm talking about if you don't already know or watch THIS video.

Aside from that, my mother is just truly amazing in all aspects.
She is not one to judge others.  She might have had her own views on things, but she never, ever forced her opinion or views on us children.  She always let us make up our own minds about things.  I think she is the reason we all grew to be very accepting and open-minded adults.
She never speaks negatively about anyone.  You have to do a LOT for my mother to not like you.  And I honestly cannot think of a single person my mother dislikes, (even though I can think of many she SHOULD lol.  I wish she would stand up to some people and tell them the things they need to hear!!!!)
Mom is always willing to give even when she has no more to give.
She has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
She never told us 'no'.  She thought name brand shoes were silly but because we all insisted on brand new Nike's every school year, she bought them.  She'd buy us Lisa Frank school supplies even though they were 5x the cost of regular old plain red notebooks and folders.
She's made our lunches every night, always giving us what we wanted, not necessarily what we needed.  (Which some might see as a bad thing but I sure appreciated it!)
She woke me up every single morning with a cup of coffee.
She would spend her weekends cooking for us, cleaning up after us, etc.  She rarely asked for help.  And never complained.
She gave us chores to do, not to be mean, but to play the foundation for responsible, self-sufficient, independent, and well-mannered children,
She came to every single softball, volleyball, soccer, and basketball game.  Rain or shine.  Sleet and snow.  Hot as balls to frigid Artic temperatures, she was there.
She didn't force me to get a job in high school because she respected my passion for playing soccer 24/7.
She shelled out lots of money for me to play on competitive soccer teams and indoor teams.

She taught me about life and love.  Mom never judged our decisions.  She understood the importance of letting children make their own mistakes and learning from them.  She'd offer up her advice, but only when we asked it of her, and then stepped back to let us handle it how we saw fit.  And she was there with open arms and Kleenexes when it ended poorly.

She helped me plan my wedding which was just a ridiculously stressful task.  She didn't get (too) annoyed with me when I'd slack because I had just given up on the small details.  She helped and took charge.  She attended all appointments and meetings with me.  Helped with email and phone correspondence with vendors.  She was my saving grace in this wedding planning ordeal.  I am thankful she did not try to take control.  She never ONCE told me what to do.  She only offered her opinion if I asked.  Even then, she was hesitant to offer her opinion for fear of me doing what SHE wanted, not what I wanted.  After talking to other brides with controlling or opinionated moms, I cannot thank my mother enough for this.  She saved me a lot of stress and anxiety.

My mother and I have a unique bond.  Most go through some phases where they don't get along with their mothers.  I can happily say I never went through that.  My mother and I have ALWAYS gotten along.  We never fought.  I never lied to her.  I can think of two times I "lied" to her.  And immediately after both, I had to confess because the guilt was just too much for me to bear.  We always talked about everything and anything.  I don't think I've ever had a true screaming match or fight with my mother.  Maybe she can remember one but I know I can't.
Our bond only grew closer as I grew older.  She became even more of my best friend as the years passed. Our conversations were more deeply rooted in personal matters.  I talked to her about boys, sex, friends, my fears, my dreams, etc.
We'd lay on the couch together as she scratched my back or played with my hair.
She let me go back to Mizzou during chemo even though it killed her and my father to have me so far.  To have me not under their close eye and care.  But she knew it's what I wanted...what I needed. And she let me go.  But she was always there when I'd call crying about hard it was to walk to and from classes, to go to work and teach and play with the kids, to studying all night long, etc.  She never said "I told you so."  The time I got sick, she hopped in a car and drove to Columbia.  Again, never said "This is why you should be home."  Always supportive of whatever we wanted.

My mother and I are a lot a like.  We both have huge hearts and would do anything for anyone.  We have the same views and opinions on most things.  We're both open-minded and accepting.  We both love our sweets late at night and I got my love of wine from her.
But we do have one main difference.  My mother is pretty shy and introverted.  She's a pretty classy lady and very reserved.
If you've met me, you know I could not be more opposite (I tone it down a LOT for this blog).  I am vulgar, perverted, loud, obnoxious, and unbelievably inappropriate.  I make the most obscene comments or jokes.  I don't mind sharing TMI stories or information (even if my family begs me not to keep going lol).  On a daily basis I hear:
" *gasp* MELANIE ANN!!!!!"
"What on earth is wrong with you?!?!"
"You are so bizarre"
...and other related things.  Sometimes even my brother, yes BEN, cannot believe some of the things that come out of my mouth.
You'd think my mother would be used to me by now and she wouldn't still have to make these comments but she does.  Although she does know there's nothing I can say now that will surprise her.
But she puts up with me.  She still takes me in public.  She still loves me.
(I will admit, my immediate family sees the worst of it.  I'm my TRUE self around them...probably because my brother is identical to me and he brings it out in me.  Yep, my poor mother has to deal with it from both of us.  Thankfully my sister isn't AS bad as us, but she does have her fair share of inappropriateness.)
I'm happy she still proudly claims me as her own.  Even though she pretends to hate it, I think she secretly likes how I am.  I keep things fun and interesting.  You just never know what will come out of my mouth (God bless my husband, future children and grandchildren when I age....I cannot imagine what I will be like as a filterless elderly woman.  And I thought my Grandmother was bad!)

But today I am sad.  It's my first Mother's Day away from "home."  I knew this was going to happen...and will continue to happen for many, many years to come.  But knowing it doesn't make it any easier. I still miss her.  She means the world to me.

I've now lived away from home for 10.5 months.  I pulled out of my driveway on July 1, 2011.  It's been a rough 10.5 months being away from home.  I miss laying in the living room just talking and laughing with my mother.  Sharing a glass of wine, debating which of the three houses we'd choose on House Hunters or judging the dresses on Say Yes to the Dress.  I miss every single thing about home.  I'm happy I lived at home the last three years before I got married.  I'm happy I didn't follow Nick before we were married.  I have the rest of my life with him.  I'm so happy I have these wonderful memories of my time at home.

Being gone for 10.5 months has not hindered my relationship with my mother.
We talk every day.  Yes.  EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
She calls me every single night before she goes to bed.  Some nights it's just a quick one minute conversation where she says "I'm going to bed.  Goodnight.  I love you."
Most nights we do have a real conversation.  It lasts anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour.
And sometimes she calls me on her lunch break and we talk as she's walking on the treadmill or eating.
And sometimes we talk after she gets home from work.
Yep, we're obsessed.  Okay, no, not really.  I don't HAVE to talk to her every day.  I'd be just fine if I didn't.
But we WANT to talk every day.  There's a distinct difference is wanting and needing.  One is unhealthy and the other is not.  We WANT to talk every day.  It helps curb my homesickness.  It makes me feel closer to her.  We feel as much a part of each other's lives as we can with being 12 hours apart.  She is my best friend and that will never, ever change.

I love my mother and I am proud of our relationship.  It makes me excited to have a little girl one day.  There is NOTHING like the bond between a mother and her daughter.  (I just hope my little girl loves me and gets along with me like my mother and I do!  I'll die if I can't have this with my own daughter.)

I love you, Mom! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to be home with you today but you know I love you, miss you, and am always thinking about you.  Words cannot describe what you mean to me.  I would be nothing without you.  I hope the rest of the family made your day special!  Thank you for webcaming with us this afternoon!

Can't wait to have you down here with us in 36(ish) days!!!