(I'm giving you all fair warning...this post is lengthy. It starts out a little raw and deep and pretty emotional. But I promise you, it changes and becomes fun and light-hearted!)
I feel very fortunate that we were able to go home for Thanksgiving. When we thought about duty stations (meaning places the Navy could station us), our top preferences were for cities that didn't leave us more than a day's drive from home (St. Louis). I know 15 hours seems like a long drive to make twice in just a few days span, but that's how important family is to us.
I know that we won't always get to go home for the holidays. I know many of my friends were not as fortunate to spend Thanksgiving with their families. It was most definitely was a blessing I counted that day.
Thanksgiving Day...I had mixed emotions leading up to it. I thought the day was going to be difficult. It would be the first time our entire family gathered together since August. But one person would be missing today. Grandpa. I didn't know how we were going to handle that emptiness in our hearts. I was anxious. You see, my family is that obnoxiously close family. And Grandpa was the heart of the family. Just thinking of spending a holiday without his goofy jokes, without him picking on Grandma, and missing the aura he puts out, brought tears to my eyes.
I knew we'd get through it. We aren't the first family to go through this. Not to mention, my family is truly amazing. We have a way of smiling and laughing in any situation. (For those of you who ask how I made it though my year of hell when battling cancer...they are how I did it. Their laughter is one of the main reasons I beat it.) Even when we were all surrounding Grandpa's bedside, after he had been removed from all medicine and machines keeping him alive, we laughed. We shared funny memories, we joked "with" Grandpa. In Grandpa's final moments, with tears streaming down our faces, all 16 of us holding hands so hard we were cutting off all circulation, we were smiling and laughing. When Grandpa took his final breath, we were smiling. It was the saddest moment of my life and I wasn't sure how to live in a world without him but our hearts were so full of love and laughter because of this amazing man. He could not have loved us anymore. He could not have supported us more. He could not have given us any better memories than the ones he had.
But now we were creating new memories. Memories of holidays without Grandpa. And it just doesn't seem right. But life goes on and Grandpa would want us to continue being that crazy, loud, and obnoxious bunch we always are.
And Thanksgiving was just that. I had nothing to worry about. Nothing to be anxious about. My family provided so many laughs.
We started the day at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery. My entire family (Dad, Mom, three siblings, Nick and myself) met Grandma there. It was my first time there. And it was difficult.
After visiting Grandpa, we headed to Thanksgiving with my entire family. As usual, drinks were poured within seconds of people entering the door, some before they even had their coats off. (What can I say, we're true to the Catholic drinking stereotype). We stood around catching up, laughing, drinking, and putting the final touches on dinner.
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| (My beloved family: Leah (Kyle was in Alabama), Dad, Mom, Randy, Ben, and my adorable husband) |
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| Grandma and her awesome Grandkids |
When the food was ready, we stood around the table, holding hands, while my uncle said grace. Of course, the prayer had us all in tears. But through the tears, it was in that moment that I realized there was not an emptiness. People say when someone passes, you can feel them with you. I didn't feel that. But I didn't feel like anything was missing either. If that makes sense. I didn't feel an overwhelming presence of Grandpa. But, I felt like my family was complete. It's as if he was standing there with us, completing our family, filling that emptiness. He was there. I'm sure standing behind Grandma, with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Of course, this feeling didn't take away my desire to have him here, in the flesh. I still missed him greatly. But there was a sense of contentment; of calmness, unity, and peace. He was there. I was certain of it.
Of course the moment our eyes were wiped dry, the crazy antics took place. If you know me, truly know me, then you know I'm a TMI person. This isn't a random trait I developed. It's inherited. My family is just like me. Well, two thirds of them (and the last third once you get them liquored up). Which means you never know what the hell will come flying out of someone's mouth (or possibly, occasionally, an ass). I know that makes it sound like something from a Honey Boo Boo episode but I promise you, it's not. We all have our teeth, we all dress very well, we're all well educated, speak in proper (and clearly understood) English. Basically, our gatherings are more fun than one family should be allowed to have. Inappropriateness and loudness. That's us.
After dinner came dessert. My birthday was the 21st and Randy's was coming up on the 30th so we sang to us and then dove into the cakes (the insane chocolate was clearly my request) and the pies.
Following dessert, we all gathered in our living room to play Ellen's "Heads Up" game. If you haven't played it, you must! So.Much.Fun! Of course, this gets a little out of hand too. For instance, the word my cousin was trying to guess was "Catfish" and so my uncle decides to give her a hint by yelling "underwater pussy!" Sooo, there's that.
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| My husband is clearly a lazy ass. |
After "Head's Up" we moved back to table where we enjoyed seconds of dinner (fatties? Maybe, but I know we can't be the only ones to delve into Thanksgiving dinner just hours after finishing round one) and another game. We played Telestrations. This is another must have game. Think a combination of the old school game Telephone and Pictionary. You each get a word, draw it, then pass it. That person writes the word of what they think you drew. Then they pass it and the next person draws that word. Then they pass it for the next person to guess. And so on. Eventually, everyone's book gets back to them. Then we take turns going around to see what the original word was and how it changed. As always, this game quickly gets turned into something so inappropriate. There are always multiple genitalia being drawn. But I will refrain from showing you one of those.
Of course we had to take a break from the game for shot-ski. And it's exactly as it sounds. Shots. From a ski. You each fill your shot glass with your choice of shooter, count to three, lift the ski and take your shot. I'm telling you, you're all missing out by not having my family or attending to our gatherings. (Hence why, in previous posts, I've commented about how all our friends wish they were a part of our family.)
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| (Yes, that's my mother doing the ShotSki with us) |
Finally, around 10:30pm we decided it might be best to get home and take care of the dogs. You know, attempt to be responsible dog parents. But we were just having so much fun. That's what's so great about my family. After 10 hours together, no one really wanted to leave. We just felt we should. So we did. And now I have to wait three weeks to do this all again at Christmas. And I Can.Not.Wait!
So Thanksgiving in a nutshell, we missed Grandpa but he was there with us, filling our void.
Dinner. And dessert. And dinner round two.
Inappropriate games.
Drinking. And shots.
More love and laughs than should be legal.
A family much better than yours ;)
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Anyone else have a crazy and obnoxious family like mine?
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